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'My nephew threw my birthday cake on the floor now my parents are mad at me, AITA?'

'My nephew threw my birthday cake on the floor now my parents are mad at me, AITA?'


AITA for blaming my parents for my nephew ruining my birthday party?

Awkward_Bag_1250 writes:

I (15M) turned 15 last Thursday and had my party that Friday. Everything was going well until my nephew (5M) arrived. I didn't even want him to come because he's not well-behaved at all, but they told me that they didn't want him to feel excluded since everyone else was invited, and they said they'd make sure my brother watched him better.

I told my dad that I didn't want him to come because I didn't want him to throw a fit all night, but they assured me that he wouldn't and that I shouldn't be dramatic. They said they didn't want their grandchild to be upset because he wouldn't be there, and if something did go wrong, they'd take responsibility for it.

My nephew threw my birthday cake on the floor. So, something did go wrong. He was upset that he didn't get to blow out the candles and started screaming and crying when my brother held him back.

After he "calmed down," he literally dug his hands into the cake and slid it to the floor. I was disappointed, but not surprised. My brother and parents were apologetic, and my brother compensated our parents for my cake and apologized to me.

It's been 3 days, and I'm basically over it now, but my brother called me after school and told me that he wanted to take me out for an apology birthday dinner. I told him that I was fine and that our parents were already planning on getting me another cake, so it wasn't really a big deal.

He asked me if I was sure, and I told him that I was and thanked him for giving them the money. I told him I was already planning on going out with my friends, and we could do it another time. After that, we talked some more before he hung up.

When my parents got home, they told me that my brother had told them that morning that he was going to invite me out and asked if I had accepted. When I told them I didn't, they got mad at me for refusing and said that I probably made him feel worse than he already did (he didn't sound hurt to me).

I told them that he had already given them money to pay for the cake, and I'm grateful for that. I told them that I don't blame him at all; instead, I blame them.

I said that if they felt bad, it could've been avoided if they hadn't invited my nephew in the first place, and that they said they were going to take responsibility, but instead, they're making my brother pay for the cake they said they were "responsible for."

They got mad when I said this and said that they didn't mean to ruin my birthday and that they didn't want my nephew and brother to feel left out. My parents have been acting pretty cold to me since, but I'm not too worried.

Whenever we have a disagreement, they usually ignore me until the next day, and then they magically forget everything that happened. I'm just confused if I was wrong or not.

OP responded to some comments:

Poshy2005 says:

NTA (Not the A%@&ole). Your parents should have kindly asked your brother to get a sitter or maybe had a small get together on a different day to include your nephew. You have every right to be upset. I do wonder if your brother told your parents if he wasn’t going to bring your nephew and they talked him into it?

OP responded:

My brother wasn't planning on inviting my nephew. He was planning on leaving him with his friend. Our parents kept insisting he bring their grandchild.

ParamedicSillent2097 says:

Isn't a 5 year old way too old for this sort of behaviour?? This is what i would expect from a 2 year old! Nta. By the way, your parents also need to grow up.

OP responded:

You would think, but my nephew is spoiled. He doesn't like to be told no, and whenever he does get told no, he throws a tantrum, and my brother just gives in.

LoveBeach8 says:

NTA. Your parents made a promise to you that they didn't keep. I highly doubt that you were surprised by that. They didn't listen to you in the first place so it's their bad.

I do think it was partly your brother's fault because he should have removed his son from the vicinity of the cake as soon as he became upset and threw a tantrum. That was his bad. Happy 16th birthday and I sincerely hope you get another birthday cake!

Vamdemon112 says:

NTA. Your parents said they’d accept responsibility if something goes wrong and they try to get your brother to do something about the responsibility instead, I would also partially blame your brother for letting your nephew’s spoiled ‘I’m entitled to everyone else’s birthdays’ attitude get this bad.

Your brother needs to realize that his son cannot behave like that forever and that it will have drastic effects when he grows up. I hope you get another birthday cake and Happy 16th Birthday!

What do you think? Was OP right to blame his parents?

Sources: Reddit
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