Teen confesses that he's 'unhappy' his mom got married, refuses to apologize. AITA?
"AITA for telling my mom I was unhappy that she got married and refusing to apologize when I was told to do so?"
My (15M) mom got married last year in December. Before she got married they were dating for about a year an a half. My mom didn't tell me that she wanted us to move in with him until the new years. We moved in with her husband on January 8th. When I arrived I was told I had to share a room with his son (15M).
To make matters worse my mom kept trying to force me to have a "brotherly" relationship with his sons but I don't get along with them and me sharing a room isn't making it any better. Yesterday my mom took me out to eat with just me and her and she told me that she knows "it's not ideal" but she just wants me to give it a chance. She told me that she feels like I'm unhappy and she doesn't know what to do.
I told her that I was unhappy and I tried to give it a chance. I told her that she never even consulted me or asked me how I would feel if we had to move. I told her that I have no privacy and that her husband's rules are too strict. I was happy that I able to finally talk with my mom about how I felt, but I felt bad because she started to cry.
She started apologizing to me and told me that she didn't intend on making me feel that way. After she said that we just kinda ate and drove home in silence. When we got home my mom must have talked to her husband about what I said because he came up to me and told me that what I said was unacceptable and I need to apologize to my mom.
I told him that I only said how I felt and I'm not going to apologize for how I feel. He then got mad and told me that I never tried to accept him or his sons and I'm only making my mom's life harder than it already is. He then demanded that I apologize again and when I refused he took my phone.
Today he came to me and apologized for "over stepping" and said that he was only trying to look out for my mom and gave me my phone back. He then asked me to "At least try to be happy for my mom's sake" and then walked away.
I haven't talked to my mom since yesterday and I feel bad that my mom's upset and that I hurt her feelings but I don't understand why I'd have to apologize for her asking me how I feel.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ThisIsMyCircus40 said:
NTA. Your mom should discussed things with you WAY before this all went down. I like how everyone in your house wants you “to try to happy for your mom” but who is focused on how you feel? Both your mom and stepdad are the AH’s here.
They have both completely disregarded how you feel and to top it off you were PUNISHED for not feeling the same way they do. And you having to share a room with a complete stranger you’re not even related to is complete BS.
Katana1369 said:
NTA. She asked. You answered.
metallee98 said:
Nta. Join extracurricular activities if you can, get a job as soon as you are able, and save money to shape your future. If you are miserable at the house, your only real option is to avoid staying there as much as possible and leaving as soon as you are able. It seems like your mom treated you like an afterthought which sucks but you might have to look for support outside of your mom because no offense but she is useless and looking out for her interests not yours.
You mention you have uncles and that's a good start. Also it seems like your step-dad sucks too. I had days where I dreaded going home so much that I would go like a week without going home just couch hopping from friend to friends house and only pop in to get more clothes.
I was blessed with good friends with good parents. It also helped that I was pretty smart and helped my buds with their homework so it was a little under the guise of study
Knittingfairy09113 said:
NTA. Tell your mom that she needs to get her husband to back off. He is making it worse. Your mom should be upset. She had handled this dreadfully. It's almost textbook how NOT to blend families. Please reach out to your uncles as well.
Crazy-cat-0689 said:
NTA your mom asked you how you felt and you were honest. Maybe she should have asked you months ago before marrying and moving in with this guy.
Charismatic_Soul said:
NTA, and you need to tell your uncles everything you disclosed in this post. You should not be sharing a room with his son, and your step father is an arsehole. Your mother is useless. You need to try to get out of there and talk to a counselor at school.