Teen asks if she was wrong to expose cheating dad to half-siblings intead of lying.
Kids are always the ones that suffer when it comes to family drama. On a popular Reddit thread, one teen carries the trauma of the drama her family has put her through.
AITA for telling my half-siblings the truth after my dad sprung them on me?
Yup that'll mess a kid up.
My (17F) dad cheated on my mom when I was 5. I know because I’m the one that caught them one day and asked my mom about who the lady dad was kissing was and kicked off the whole divorce afterward. Fun for a little kid, let me tell you.
Is there ever a pleasant custody fight?
I haven’t had much of a relationship with my dad, the custody fight was f’king awful, and the affair girlfriend was pregnant with my half-brother (12M). They got married quickly, and trust me; my dad has just done a lot to be angry about. I told him I hated him and stopped talking to him. I ignored him during visitation time until he stopped coming. My mom remarried, and my stepdad is a much better person. He treats me like his own, so I’ve never missed bio-dad much.
Grandma gets what grandma wants.
My paternal family keeps in touch with him; I go to my mom’s side for all holidays and see them when he’s not there. My gran recently got sick, though, and asked me to at least talk to him because it makes her sad that we don’t have a relationship. I decided to talk because I couldn’t say no to my gran.
OP, hold firm to your boundaries!
So, a few months ago, we talked on the phone and then met for lunch. I told him I was willing to see him only for my gran, but never family 2.0, and he could take that or leave it. He really wanted me to meet my half-brothers, and I eventually agreed.
I can see why your dad did what he did.
One day he picks me up for lunch, but his wife is at the restaurant with the two boys (the younger is 10). I’m furious, but we’re in public, so I’m giving my dad the death glare while trying not to make a scene and texting my stepdad to come to get me. The 10-year-old asks if I’m mad about my mom running off with me, so I didn’t get to grow up with them.
OP is not opposed to dropping bombs as long as they're truth bombs.
I lost it, and I probably shouldn’t have. I told them their dad cheated on my mom with their mom and ruined our family growing up, and I’m only mad he was a cheater. The kids looked shocked, and an argument started, but I dipped as soon as I saw my stepdad pull up.
OH NO, WE FORGOT ABOUT GRAN!
The boys didn’t know and are now mad at their parents, my dad’s wife is mad at him and me, and my dad is upset and wants me to apologize. The family is all over the place about it, but my aunt said I made gran cry when she heard about it. My mom says I just told the truth, which should never be wrong, but I should have waited for my stepdad and not gotten mad.
VivaDuSkeleton says:
NTA (Not the A**hole).
You made your boundaries very clear, and instead of respecting them or at least trying to get close to you before bringing it up again, he decided to spring his new family on you and completely remove your choice. I'd say you've done what your gran has requested by trying, and he messed it up, so you're free to go right back to no contact with this jacka**.
Oh and they deserve to know the truth if they're going to be trying to get them to have a relationship with you. Harsh, but it's the parent's fault, not yours.
MrDarcysDead says:
NTA
Your bio-dad ambushed you after he made a promise to keep the meeting between the two of you. He has been lying to your half-brothers about what happened. You reacted angrily when suddenly blindsided by the fantasy their parents had been feeding them for years.
Your anger was a natural reaction and, while you could have handled things differently, I think you would be hard-pressed to find another human (of any age) who would have.
I am glad that you got the father you deserved in your stepfather. Your bio-dad hasn't grown much or developed a deeper appreciation for honesty in the 12 years since he has been absent from your lives. The shame is on him, not on you, Luv.
Key-Bit1208 says:
It’s not your job to uphold the lies that he’s told to cover his own inexcusable actions. NTA
BTW, he’s a SERIOUS AH for blatantly disrespecting the only boundary that you placed on reconnecting.