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Teen gets roommate deported because her lifestyle conflicted with her religion. AITA?

Teen gets roommate deported because her lifestyle conflicted with her religion. AITA?


Teen unintentionally gets roommate removed from the country after not enjoying her lifestyle.

TangeloBig1626 writes:

Two things to keep in mind: my roommate (19F) and I (19F) both come from a Muslim country in North Africa, and we are both rich (very rich from the perspective of our countries).

Last year, I graduated from an international school in my country and also managed to get a spot in a great college here in the US. By chance, one of my classmates also managed to get into the same college.

When our parents found out, they asked us if we would like to live together, and we agreed, thinking it would help with homesickness to have a familiar face. Also, we were not friends; we just went to the same international school.

Our parents came with us to the US, and they rented us an apartment in a secure building with all the amenities (doorman, gym, and pool, cleaning service), mostly because they were worried that we might not adjust to dorm life (all the info they had about dorm life comes from college movies, since they mostly studied in Europe or our original country).

At first, things were fine, but then my roommate started drinking and partying and got a boyfriend that she would sometimes bring home. I am a practicing Muslim, even if I don't wear Hijab, so I was uncomfortable with a strange man in our house.

Also, she started bringing alcohol to our apartment, which is a big no-no in our religion. I tried talking with her, but she said that it was her home as much as mine, and she could do what she wants.

I did not want to snitch on her, so I decided to act as the spoiled princess and complained to my dad that I did not want to share my living space. I told him that I am not used to sharing with someone.

He was upset with me, but he told me to go ahead and get another unit in the same building, and that he would speak to my roommate's parents and apologize to them. And that's exactly what I did, as well as apologizing to my roommate for not adjusting to sharing space with her.

Well, her parents were suspicious I guess, since things were smooth sailing at first, and they didn't think that I was honest about my reasons. They surprised her by visiting out of the blue, only to find her in bed with her BF and alcohol in the house.

They were very upset, forced her to drop out of college in the US, and moved her back with them to finish school in our original country. This happened early January.

I think she just got access back to her social media/phone, and she sent me a lengthy message, accusing me of being an AH for causing her to be dragged back to living with her parents, and ruining her future and chance at obtaining a degree from the US. So, AITA?

Here are the top comments from the post:

ScallionKindly8264 says:

NTA (Not the A%^#ole). First of all, it was your apartment too, and you were entitled to wanting to feel comfortable in it. She could have spent the night at her BF's house, and drank out of the house.

Second, you did not snitch on her, all you did was take yourself out of a living situation that did not suit you, anything else that happened was the direct result of her decisions, as well as her parents'.

Diligent-Comfort-191 says:

NTA. This is all on her. She knew you were uncomfortable with what was happening and just carried on regardless. Her behaviour pushed you out and that set in train the events leading to her going home.

Yes, it was her living space, but it was yours too, which means you both have certain rights of veto over the other's behaviour in the apartment. What you did in securing private accomodation was a mild solution to her behaviour.

That it rang alarm bells with her parents suggests they were already uneasy about her. They may even have been quietly relying on you to curb their daughter's behaviour.

Hysio says:

NTA. When you share a house its like if one says no then its a no, if one says yes is a no, if all say yes its a yes. Right? She couldve just done those things elsewhere.

In my house share experience we all had to agree it was ok to bring boys over, else no one can bring them. Much worse to sleepover.

Plumedor says:

NTA. So not TA, it's crazy to me that you could even think that. You tried your best to talk to her about being uncomfortable with her way of living, and instead of trying to compromise she fully disrespected your religion.

Then you moved out without exposing her behavior but rather putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation, and you have nothing to do with her parents flying to see her unexpectedly and discovering her way of living. She brought this on herself. Best of luck with the rest of your studies, you've got nothing to reproach yourself for.

What do you think? Was OP right to want to live somewhere else?

Sources: Reddit
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