Teen goes on 'cleaning strike' because dad doesn't make step siblings do chores. AITA?
"AITAH for going on a cleaning strike because my dad won’t make my step siblings clean?"
My dad married his wife 3 months ago. They were dating for a while before that and I got to know her 2 daughters who are 14 and 16 years old. I’m 17m. We get along ok. So my dad's wife and her daughters moved in with us after the wedding 3 months ago. Since then, neither of the girls have lifted a finger.
At first, my dad told me to just do the chores as we did when it was just me and him and let the girls settle in before they join in to do the chores. I hated this because the load was so much more.
Suddenly I was washing dishes, cooking, cleaning and doing laundry for 5 people. I wouldn’t do it all the time because my dad split it with me but it was still so frustrating.
A month ago, I asked my dad if he can speak to his wife and her daughters about starting to do chores because it had been 2 months. He said he doesn’t feel like they’ve settled in well enough yet and doesn’t want to push them too quick. We got into a bit of an argument but I decided to just drop it.
Now I’ve absolutely had enough. I feel like their maid. I feel like I’m constantly picking up after them and I don’t know how long they need to “settle in”. I told my dad I’m not lifting a single finger till he gets them to help.
He must’ve thought I was joking because he asked me why I left the kitchen in a mess last night. The kitchen is always a mess unless me or him clean it but nights are usually my responsibility.
The sink was full of dishes, the pots of food weren’t put away and were left on the stove over night. I told him there are 3 other people in this house that can clean the kitchen, and I’m not doing it.
He ended up doing it himself and asked if I really want to add extra work on his plate by doing this. I said he wouldn’t have extra work if he simply told his step daughters to start helping around here.
He said if I was thrust into someone else’s home, I wouldn’t be comfortable so soon either and I need to have more empathy for the girls.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
semasswood said:
NTA. If it is their home, then they should be doing chores. Dad needs to grow a spine.
netekin666 said:
You are perfectly right, and if your father feel that having "empathy" for those girls means doing their share of the chores, then he can absolutely do it himself. That being said, while you are right to stand your ground, you have to be careful about the way you bring it up, to avoid this just turning into a conflict.
LA-forthewin said:
NTA, but if your dad is so spineless, just tell your stepmother and the girls that everybody needs to clean up behind themselves effective immediately, either that or set up a chore list where the work is divvied up on a weekly basis.
Disastrous_Grape54 said:
NTA. Step sister will have a rude awakening when Cinderella is no longer there.
BlueGreen_1956 said:
NTA. Sorry but your father's new wife and her girls can get off their behinds and pitch in. Didn't they take care of themselves before they moved in? Going on strike will let them either decide to pitch in or live like pigs. Their choice.
Alert-Blueberry2311 said:
NTA - It is a big adjustment for everyone, and your feelings matter too. Tell your dad that you need a family meeting so that everyone is clear about what is expected of them.
Since you have done it all in the past, you can be the person who shows them where the dishes go, and which night is trash night, etc. It is your father’s job to let them know that they are expected to help. You and your dad can’t keep doing it all.