Teen lets classmate embarrass himself instead of outing her friend, asks AITA?
It's 2023, and assuming someone is straight is a dangerous game. Bisexuality, pansexuality, and Asexuality are many ways to classify your preferences. They're all valid, and all complicate whether or not you should ask someone out.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a teen wonders if she should disclose her friend's sexuality to her classmates.
She writes:
I (f17) am in a class with my friend ‘Hannah’ (also f17). Hannah is a lesbian with zero interest or attraction to men at all. The other day, Hannah was homesick, and the guy next to me, Mason (m16), approached me about Hannah. We’d talked a little before, and we’re kinda friends.
He asked a bunch of weird questions, nothing sexual, just questions about her hobbies and interests (Does she play sports? Is she in any clubs? Stuff like that.) I gave vague but honest answers. Then he asked if she was single, and I caught on.
I had a moment of mini-panic. Hannah doesn’t try to hide her sexuality but isn’t open about it, either. I didn’t want to out her, but I didn’t want her to deal with this rando. I ended up just telling him that he’s not her type. The bell rang, so we both went to our next classes, and I hoped he took the hint. Spoiler alert: he didn’t.
Today, while students were still milling around before class, he got down on one knee and asked her to go out to the movies this Saturday. The whole class was silent momentarily before she said, 'No, sorry. I’m not interested.'
Mason: 'But why? I’m a great guy, I swear! It’ll be a good time, I promise.'
Hannah: 'Mason… you know I’m a lesbian, right?'
the whole class laughs, and Mason sulks back to his seat.
He started crying and sat down. That’s when class started. After class, Mason came up to me and told me that I was an AH for not warning him that she was a lesbian. That if he’d known, he wouldn’t have asked her out.
Another kid (Mason’s close friend) approached us to back Mason up. At first, I was sure I was right, but now I’m not. AITA?
The internet will decide Mason's fate.
mdthomas says:
NTA (Not the A**hole), Her sexuality doesn't matter in this situation. His choice of time, place, and manner of asking her out matters. I guarantee that 99% of people would decline a date when requested like that.
morgaine125 says:
NTA. You told him he wasn’t her type, which was an appropriate balance between warning him she was likely to say no and respecting her privacy. He was just lashing out because he was embarrassed and wanted someone to blame, which is very immature.
YouthNAsia63 says:
You tried to be diplomatic but Mason wasn’t taking the hint. Mason got embarrassed. Sucks for Mason. You were careful not to 'out' Hannah.
She seems pretty comfortable and open about being a lesbian-but you couldn’t have been 100 percent sure how she would take you telling random suitors that she is a lesbian. So you erred on the side of caution, and good for you. NTA
OP, you didn't force Mason to do a proposal date request in front of the entire class. He did that himself.