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Teen piano player asks if she was wrong to steal the spotlight at a wedding.

Teen piano player asks if she was wrong to steal the spotlight at a wedding.


Everyone knows that you're not supposed to wear white, propose, make a fool out of yourself during the speeches, or 'speak now' at a wedding, but is playing piano off-limits?

So, when a conflicted teen decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the A^hole' about whether or not she was wrong to draw attention at a wedding, people were ready to weigh in.

AITA for 'stealing the spotlight' at a wedding?

I (16F) went to a wedding of my parents' friend's son. A bit of background: I've been playing piano my whole life and am frequently asked to play at events.

I haven't personally met the groom since I was a baby, and I've never met the bride nor her family until the wedding.

A few days before the wedding, my parents told me I would be performing a piece on the piano during reception. I didn't think anything of it because I had previously played at other weddings several times, so I prepared for it not knowing there was a severe miscommunication coming up.

The groom's father, who was my family's friend, met me during the reception and guided me to the piano, where I begun to play the piece.

I really thought it was totally fine because it seemed the father of the groom had organized the event and coordinated it all with the bride and groom's blessing.

However, a bit after I started to play the bride walked up to me, looking very angry and demanded I stop.

She then blew up at me. She said that it was her wedding and her day and reprimanded me for having the audacity to try to steal the spotlight at her wedding. It became very obvious to me that she was not filled in/informed whatsoever of me playing.

I told her I thought I was invited to play, and she said she doesn't even know who I am. The groom's father rushed over and tried to explain, but it was clear I had already upset her on such an important day.

I really feel so bad. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin her big day. The reason I made this post is I really want to reach out to her to apologize, but my family is telling me not to because she was TA for yelling at me.

Her words were harsh, but I can understand the frustration because who would want some random girl playing piano at her wedding? AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:

KatKaleen said:

NTA. Your family is right in telling you not to apologize, because you have nothing to apologize for. You were told to play at the event, you were led to the piano by the person you thought organized the event, you played. You weren't even part of the miscommunication.

I understand that a wedding can be a lot of stress, but the one that made this a bad situation was the bride, not you.

She could've just let you finish playing and nobody would've thought anything of it, instead she decided to make a scene on her own 'special day'.

theadverbnoun said:

NTA, there was definitely a miscommunication. But also the bride should stop and think about why a young woman playing a nice tune on the piano made her so insecure.

Diligent_Pride_7314 said:

Got a feeling this extends beyond a wedding and deep into some interfamilial scuffles. Me thinks this wasn’t informed to the couple as it was the goal to steal the spotlight, and they used you as a tool to do it.

You’re sweet for wanting to apologise, honestly sounds like a good idea to at least reach out, maybe to the groom? Do keep in mind that any insults you might receive aren’t deserved and that you did everything right. NTA OP.

ParsimoniousSalad said:

NTA but neither is the bride. The groom's father can't just arrange a performance at the wedding without checking with the couple that they want it!

neophenx said:

NTA. If there is an AH, it's the groom's father who arranged the whole thing without coordinating with the newlyweds.

Later, the post was edited to include:

EDIT: Thank you guys for your opinions! It definitely makes me feel less responsible. To be clear, the wedding was paid for almost entirely by the groom's side of the family (according to my parents) which was the impression I was under.

I assumed because they paid for it they were the ones arranging it and I guess I wrongly assumed the bride was informed.

I do hope to reach out to her, but unfortunately because we're from the groom's side of the acquaintances I don't know how to get her number, and the adults I ask keep telling me to stay out of it.

I'm mostly just really embarrassed and was too afraid to defend myself at the moment.

2nd EDIT: Sorry for not being clear about the music! I was playing during reception. I was told to play ambient music the whole time so I just had some light jazz prepared.

It was supposed to be background music to the event and I did not get any sort of crowd. I'm pretty sure people thought I was hired to play (I did not get paid though lol)

Note to anyone planning an impromptu serenade: ask the bride first!

Sources: Reddit
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