Teen refuses to babysit his niece until his sister pays him, 'I'm being taken advantage of.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kid unless she pays me?"
I (17M) have a 3-year-old niece, Emily who I love, but watching her can be exhausting. My sister, let's call her Anna (25F) , is a single mom and works long hours. For the past year, she’s been asking me to babysit Emily about 2-3 times a week while she works late. At first, I didn’t mind because I wanted to help out. But lately, it’s starting to feel like I’m being taken advantage of.
Here’s the thing: I already have school, part-time work, and homework to juggle. Spending hours looking after Emily means I’m falling behind on other responsibilities, and I don’t have time to hang out with friends. On top of that, Anna never pays me or even acknowledges how much effort I put in. She always says things like “You’re family, this is what family does!”
Last week, she texted me again to babysit, and I told her I’d do it, but only if she paid me something. I suggested $10/hour, which I thought was fair since it’s cheaper than daycare. She got really upset and called me selfish, saying I “only care about money.” She also said I should understand how hard it is for her as a single mom.
I stood my ground and told her I’m not free labor and that she should look for alternative childcare if she doesn’t want to pay me. Now she’s barely speaking to me and is venting to our parents, who think I’m being inconsiderate.
They’ve suggested I just help out until she “gets on her feet” but Anna’s been in this situation for years, and I don’t see anything changing soon. I feel guilty because I know she’s struggling, but I also feel like my time and effort deserve recognition. AITA for refusing to babysit without getting paid?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Discount_Mithral said:
NTA. You need to clearly communicate to your parents that this request from her is impacting your ability to complete school-work, your job, and eliminates any free time you have. If you are going to give up hours at work, you need to be otherwise compensated for your time.
It's one thing to ask once in a while, but for regular sitting - that's something she needs to pay for. Stand your ground on this one and tell her while you'd love to help when it's an emergency, you have a life and other obligations that need to take precedence in your life. Her child is not more important that your future.
Aggressive_Cattle320 said:
NTA Babysitting is hard work. And she couldn't expect anyone else to do it for free. I agree with you, that once in a while is a different thing. This seems to have turned into a regular job, and she should definitely compensate you when you sit for her.
She asks you to consider how hard it is to be a single mother, and she also should consider how hard it is to be 17 and juggling schoolwork and works AND a babysitting gig you are being drafted into.
I would stand your ground on this one. She's had a good thing going, and she's taken advantage of that. She won't find more reasonable and trustworthy care than you'll provide.
Lunar-Eclipse0204 said:
NTA - She always says things like “You’re family, this is what family does!” - Family also doesn't take advantage of each other. Stand your ground and as far as her needing daycare and being in a bind for funds, apply for state programs, look into daycares that are open later or oever night...there are options.
becoming_maxine said:
NTA. You are not the parent. You are the aunt. Emily is her mother and responsible for her child. Its nice that you help out occasionally. If she paid you, you wouldn't need to prioritize a job over her. Make that clear.
School and your own job are your first priorities. Anyone your sister can complain to can do child care for her. Remind them about that. It's time to call your parents out because as your parents and Emilie's grandparents they should be stepping up for you and picking up the extra time your sister needs.
giantbrownguy said:
NTA. If your parents feel so strongly about helping out, let them do it. But you shouldn't have to sacrifice your life because she chose to have a kid. That's not your responsibility.
mrspurp751 said:
NTA tell your parents to step up and help their own child and grandchildren, it is impacting on your life, your sister is the selfish one if she can’t see that and apologize!