Teen refuses to cook for family, 'they're ungrateful and deserve to starve.' AITA?
Am I obligated to cook for my family when they're so ungrateful?
Live_Frosting_7812 writes:
So I (16M) still live with my family, obviously. I have chores just like my siblings. But something I do for fun and because I love and have a passion for it is cooking. I started cooking for myself 3 years ago. I had cooked before, but nothing like the last three years.
I enjoy making my own breakfast and dinner and even lunch if I have no school. My parents saw I was cooking more, and they added that to my list of chores because Mom said they didn't want to waste food, and Dad said it was rude to cook for only one person. And I didn't mind cooking for everyone, but they were so f%^&ing ungrateful.
Complaints I got were: Too spicy; wanted potatoes instead of rice; wanted rice instead of noodles; wanted beef instead of chicken; wanted something plain instead of spicy. None of this was constructive either. It was whining and complaining, and I did start out asking what I should do, but everyone wanted something different, and I'm still in school!
I can't spend 6 hours cooking dinner on a school night. My siblings want pizza, fries, nuggets, and tacos. My parents want steak and potatoes, with or without gravy and all the trimmings, or just five different kinds of potatoes. I even made a weekly meal plan for a while, and they wouldn't complain until after they ate it.
I spoke to my family about the way they were behaving, and my mom told me that's the reality of cooking for a family. She said my siblings and dad had always been like that with her. I pointed out that I hadn't been, and she just said, "Yeah, but it's part of life." I told her, so she decided to treat me worse than I treated her, and she told me I was being difficult. I told her no, she was taking everyone else's behavior out on me.
A few times, my dad or one of my siblings would say I wasn't a very good cook, and they hated eating my food. So I said I wouldn't cook anymore, and Dad and Mom would get pissed, and my siblings would call me lame.
So I stopped cooking for them. I cook just for me again, and my parents are furious. They all come home hungry, and I have nothing ready for them. Not even my siblings. My parents told me it's disrespectful, and I cannot continue, and I said they were all the disrespectful and ungrateful ones sh*&^ing all over what I made for them.
They told me I shouldn't be okay with letting them go hungry, and I said they all deserve to go hungry. My parents said it was a disgusting attitude, and they grounded me for two weeks. AITA?
OP responded to some comments:
MsGeek says:
NTA. You are a minor. It’s your parents’ responsibility to take care of you. Cooking is a wonderful interest to have and I hope your enjoyment is not ruined by your family’s behavior. It’s one thing to share your dishes alongside the rest of the food during meals, but another entirely to be responsible for feeling all your family members.
OP responded:
It hasn't ruined it but I am prepared to stop cooking for the rest of my time living with my family rather than cook for their ungrateful butts.
evoactivity says:
NTA.With your age unfortunately there is not a lot you can do here. Once you have a part time job start buying your own groceries and they can’t complain about it being a waste of food.
To some extent people being ungrateful and complaining about food is a fact of life, I’d expect that from siblings and kids but not your parents. They’re acting like children. They should be encouraging you and supporting your hobby but instead they used you and treated you badly.
OP responded:
If it really gets pushed I will just stop cooking completely and let them punish me. I already have a part time job so I make my own money but I'm still expected to cook for everyone regardless of if I buy stuff or not.
Cavolatan says:
This one is so easy! They were rude, your parents didn’t stand up for you (which I find mind-boggling, personally), and now you don’t want to cook for them anymore. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re in the wrong, they messed around and found out.
OP responded:
My parents were as bad as my siblings so that's why they didn't stand up for me. They complain about it too.
What do you think? Should OP cook for his family?