'AITA for refusing to share money I will be given at 18 with my stepsister and half brother?'
"AITA for refusing to share money I will be given at 18 with my stepsister and half brother?"
I (17M) will be coming into a large amount of money when I turn 18. This is money that my mom, who died when I was 7, and my maternal grandparents accumulated for me since I was born. I won't say the exact amount, but it's between $500k and $1 million.
The reason it's that much is my grandparents ran a successful business for many years and they sold it 18 months ago, and all the money from that sale went to me. They kept none of it.
Currently, my grandparents have control over all of it. Before my mom died, she left them in charge of the account where she was saving. She was married to my dad at the time but had wanted to secure my future in case anything happened, like my dad remarrying and having additional kids.
She didn't want to run the risk that once she was gone her money could be used for someone who wasn't her kid. My dad knew some money had been saved for me by mom but was never aware of how much or little it was. He also had no idea my grandparents continued saving for me.
My grandparents told me about the money over a year ago. They wanted me to prepare for my future and to know I would have so many options because of the money available to me. They also mentioned it would never bring back my mom but could alleviate the burden of becoming an adult.
So here's the deal. My dad did remarry. He has a stepdaughter (16) and a son (5) with his current wife. They are not wealthy, and my dad's wife has prepared her daughter to try and work hard for scholarships and financial aid to get into college because she wants to study to become a lawyer, I think.
My dad had similar conversations with me and had sat me down a few times since I learned of the money's existence to figure out what our plans would be. Eventually, I told him it wasn't going to be a big concern, and I told him about the money.
He was like, "WTF," and then he told his wife, and they apparently went "WTF" together and told me I could be gracious and split the money when I get it between the three of us and give the other two a chance to have a decent helping hand with college. I told them I would not be sharing it because it was created by my family, not theirs.
Dad's wife argued that it would be incredibly selfish to take such a large amount of money and blow it all on myself when I have two siblings who could also benefit in major ways from it.
My dad told me even giving some of it to them, not a full split, but some money, money I have left at the end, would be amazing and would help my family out a lot. I told him I wasn't going to.
They are SO not happy with me. They told me that being selfish with this is not a good way to be. My dad is also pissed that he continued saving for me and dividing things equally between the three of us when I have so much I'll have access to in a few months. AITA?
OP responded to some comments:
Artistic_Tough5005 says:
NTA (Not the A^&#ole) Their reaction is exactly why your mom set it up how she did! She knew your dad and well enough to know the money would not be yours and used for children that are not hers.
OP responded:
Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking after the pressure campaign started. It was like wow, mom sure did know what could happen and she was right!
Outrageous_Shoe_1450 says:
NTA. For future reference, DON'T TELL ANYBODY ELSE ABOUT YOUR MONEY!
OP responded:
I wasn't planning to. The only reason I told my dad is it was difficult to explain why I didn't need to do certain things when I supposedly had very little money at my disposal for college.
Successful_Bath1200 says:
NTA. This money was saved by your mom and grandparents to set you up in life. This money will get you through university and beyond. Your stepmom should have made provisions for her children. It is not up to you to provide for them. Stick to your guns and lead the life your mom wanted for you.
OP responded:
She has been saving for her kids. But does not have access to the same kind of money that my grandparents did and she's working on figuring out the best way for my stepsister to go to college like she wants. But I still say like you do, that it's not my job to take care of it.