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Teen threatens to send dad to nursing home if he doesn't wear a diaper, asks AITA?

Teen threatens to send dad to nursing home if he doesn't wear a diaper, asks AITA?

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My (19) dad can't control his bowels, and if he doesn't do anything about it, I will make his biggest fears come true.

Far_Injury4287 says:

I’m 19, and my dad is 56. his biggest fear is ending up in a nursing home. He’s also had an issue controlling his bowels for over a year now, and I suspect it’s because he will regularly refuse to eat and drink beer all day until dinner. I've brought this up to him, and he said he’s 'fasting' and that it’s good for him.

I told him it’s not fasting, it’s just drinking on an empty stomach, and he got upset and just said his bowel problem is old age, but I don’t think he’s quite old enough for that to be the issue.

There are stains on the carpet all over the house from times he hasn’t reached the bathroom. It’s disgusting, and I can’t afford a new rug, nor can he. I just ran the carpet cleaner over it after getting up all the big stuff, and that’s the best I can do now.

Today I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was sitting at the table. He stood up and said, 'I have to go sh%t. actually, I’m sh*%ting right now.' I first thought he was joking until I heard it hit the floor.

He stripped down, dripped it all over the floor, and smeared it with paper towels to clean it up. I was pissed at this point because he knew he had this problem and refused to wear diapers, and now I’m playing hopscotch, trying not to burn anything.

I ended up having to shut the stove off and clean it up myself, and at this point, I had no appetite left, so I just made a plate for him and my brother and started getting ready to put it away. When he got down from the shower, I told him he needed to work with me on this. I won’t keep dealing with his accidents and I'll pay someone else if I have to. I told him he needs to wear diapers at least, or he’s ending up in the nursing home.

I know this was harsh, but I have been so fed up. He tried to blame me by saying I made him come into the kitchen for dinner, and it took him farther away from the bathroom. I never made him sit there, and he didn’t even make it out of the kitchen, so I know he wouldn’t have made it from anywhere else in the house, either.

He was embarrassed and started crying, though, and said he was not happy about it either, and when I came to apologize later for making him so upset, he just kept saying 'whatever' and saying he didn’t want to hear it.

I know I'm not wrong for expecting him to at least try to work with me, but was I the a%*hole for threatening him with the nursing home over it?

OP gave an update:

Returning to add that my sister and I talked on the phone for a bit, and she is willing to let my little brother move in, and he seems to be on board. I would rather stay to help take care of him the best I can, but I thought it would be comforting for you guys to know that my little brother won’t have to deal with the situation anymore.

I’ve also talked to my dad a little, and he got a little freaked out when I mentioned possible issues with his liver and even maybe colon cancer, and he’s going to try to see someone soon. He’s still hung up on the incontinence aids, but a step is being made.

Here are some of the top internet comments.

kristy2056 says:

NTA (Not the A%#hole). That is 100% a drinking problem, not an age problem. My daddy lived to 81 and he NEVER sh%t himself. He wants to act like a baby, he needs a diaper.

Dunesgirl says:

He’s only 56. He has a drinking problem. That is quite young to be incontinent. He needs to see a doctor (or doctors). Sounds as if he may have medical issues.

MadTownMich says:

NTA. It is absolutely not his age. I’m his age. My friends are all his age. I have friends and family 20 years older than him with no similar issues.

He is likely drinking himself to death. He could have colitis or diverticulitis which can be cured with antibiotics or in severe cases, surgery. He really, really has to get to a doctor. To do so, he has to get over his embarrassment and be honest.

They can actually help him, which would help you. It is very selfish for him to expect you to clean this up. How old is your brother? You may need to call for help.

What do you think? Was OP wrong for making that threat, or did their father need a reality check?

Sources: Reddit
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