Teen with a stutter tells parents 'it's unfair to blame me for not saying my new sister's name correctly.'
"AITA for telling my parents it's unfair to blame me for not saying my new sister's name correctly?"
I (16m) have speech issues. I have a stutter and I also have trouble making certain sounds as well. I did speech therapy when I was younger and I'm better than I was but still can't say some things correctly. I was my parents only child until now. My mom is pregnant with my baby sister.
And they chose her name which is something I can't say correctly. The name is Michelle. I have a lot of trouble with the chell part and I don't say words like shell right either. My parents are really frustrated by it and they are saying I'm doing it intentionally because I don't like the fact it's a traditional name.
They used the fact I want to change my name to say I'm being intentionally difficult. It hurts. They know I always struggled with this but now it's a great big issue. My stutter got worse because of the stress of my parents and now the name sounds even worse out of my mouth which angers them more. But I'm not doing it intentionally. I worked so hard for so long on the sounds.
My (maternal) grandparents spoke in my defense but mom told them to shut up and said they were encouraging me. She was already pissed because they offered to pay for me to change my name. My mom said it was so wrong and this was just another way for them to undermine her and my dad as my parents.
This led to me telling my parents it's unfair for them to blame me for saying the name wrong. I said it when they got on me again for how I was saying the name. They keep making me repeat it so I get it right. But I get worse because the pressure makes my stutter so bad.
My parents told me I shouldn't talk to them about fair when I keep sh$tting on the names they love. Which I don't. I never said anything about Michelle and I regret telling them I hate my name and want something different (my name is Richard). AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
crochetandmead said:
NTA and I am going to be completely honest with you - they are absolutely making it worse for you to be able to say the name correctly due to stressing you out. Stress/anxiety impacts peoples ability to speak even if they don’t have diagnosed issues when it comes to speech.
There is a very famous study (completely unethical practices might I add) that proves this. Children were left with lifelong speech issues when they didn’t have any prior BECAUSE those conducting the study kept belittling those children for their speech. I am sorry you are dealing with this.
hadMcDofordinner said:
You parents are really sad people. You lost the lottery with them. Ignore them and call the new baby "Mimi" instead of Michelle. Tell them that Michelle is a French name and that "Mimi" is a known nickname for Michelle.
Refuse to play their "say it correctly" games anymore, they seem to get pleasure from belittling you. Maybe go live with your grandparents? NTA Don't let your parents mistreat you again, keep standing up for yourself. No more pronunciation games.
cqpa said:
Definitelyyyy NTA. This sucks and is ridiculous that you're having to go through this. If your parents had educated themselves even a tiny bit about stutters, they would know full well that yelling at you and stressing you out will make it worse.
This might go without saying, but if your parents are this unsupportive with the stutter, there's a good chance they are unsupportive about other things. So it might be worth taking stock of your support system besides them (i.e., the grandparents who stood up for you, friends, other family) and strengthening those relationships as much as possible before the baby comes.
There's no chance that they are open to nicknames for Michelle like Ellie, Micky, Mimi, etc. right? I'm sorry that you're even having to deal with this, friend :(
Kitchen_Key_1909 said:
NTA. It's weird they accuse you of this if your speech is impeded. I'm sure you can change your name legally by yourself when you're able to do so.
ParsimoniousSalad said:
NTA. Geez, Do they not understand how stutters work? They are creating a fantasy that you are resenting their new daughter as well as your name now, and it's only going to get worse. The baby's not even here yet and she's already the golden child.
Ask your grandparents again for them to intercede. Your parents are being abusive to you. You could also speak to a counselor or teacher at school. Maybe ask for more speech therapy - mostly just to get the therapist to tell your parents to back the F off you.
Katja1236 said:
NTA. They're being cruel. Tell them when you have your first child, they'll have to do a seven-foot high jump before they can meet her, with ankle weights, and if they can't then clearly that's an intentional insult to you and you won't have contact with them until they try harder and do better.