Teenager accused of putting zero effort into cooking dinner for his family; Dad says, 'THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.' AITA?

When this teenager is upset with his family, he asks the internet:

"AITA for putting no effort into cooking dinner for my family my one night for cooking?"

In my (15m) family once we turn 12 we're supposed to cook a dinner for everyone once a week. We start out with help but at age 14 it's on us alone to do our one night. So far me, my sister Miley (14f) and my brother Kole (12m) have started.

Our younger siblings Shea (10f) and Lincoln (8m) don't cook yet. Of the three of us I'm the only one who likes cooking. I actually took cooking classes before and I go to a summer camp that's focused on cooking. I also cook and bake with my grandparents when we see them. Both of them are really good cooks.

I always tried to make a really nice dinner for us, something we'd really enjoy. My siblings never put any effort in and basically serve whatever. They hate it so I get it. When I started doing something more effort my parents were encouraging. But over time everyone is just so negative about it.

My siblings complain that it's not burritos or tacos, but then they all want different kinds which is still more effort, or they want me to make pizzas or burgers. My parents complain about the price, they complain about the time it takes me to cook vs my siblings, they complain I'm trying to look better than them.

My siblings complain about veggies I include in what I cook. I made a pasta once and they kept saying it was puke because there were veggies.

Miley and Kole need to include veggies too (it's a rule our parents made) but instead of all the whining my siblings just push the veggies aside and refuse to eat them. And my parents praise them for being so fast and cheap.

I asked my parents if they'd be less negative if we decided on a budget for my cooking. They told me yes, so I adjusted what I was cooking to make it work. But they were still negative that I take 10-15 minutes longer and that I'm trying to upstage them in cooking or that I'm showing off.

So I had enough and the last three weeks I put no effort in. I boil veggies, potatoes, and cook meat and I slap it on a plate. Miley and Kole don't add gravy or sauce so neither do I.

My parents made such a big deal out of it and told me I'm capable of way better and my siblings complained they're not tacos or burritos. I said I don't want to make ungrateful people happy with my food when I don't have to.

Dad said I could never make it as a chef. I said it would be different for people paying for food, especially if I was getting SOME appreciation instead of everyone always complaining now.

My parents said it's unacceptable. AITA?

begcrediet writes:

NTA! Professional chef here - I really take exception to your dad's cruel comment that you could never make it as a chef. It's an underpaid and stressful job, but you can do it. You enjoy cooking and care about food, and I hope you have other relatives who nurture your passion, like it seems you get from your grandparents.

The people who support you build your talent in one way, and the people who throw obstacles and challenges at you build it in another.

Many of the challenges you field when it's your turn to cook are similar to ones I deal with at work: you have a limited budget and time constraints to craft a menu catering to a range of tastes including picky eaters, while also meeting nutritional requirements, all the while delivering an end result that's delicious and aesthetically pleasing.

Ask any pro chef which culinary artists they admire most, over half the time the first person they mention is going to be a family elder like their Grandma: anyone can tweeze microgreens onto a diver-caught scallop, but conjuring love and comfort out of tough limitations for an oft-ungrateful family, and struggling to be seen for those efforts, is what animates our best work.

When you're feeling discouraged by the insults from dad and the whining from the younger siblings, my suggestion is to reimagine these as your Iron Chef challenges. Don't let the negativity drag you down - try to turn it into inspiration.

If you know some kids at the table will turn their noses up at a dish anyway, you might as well make something creative that you'd personally enjoy eating.

But no more Revenge Dish - if you serve your family something below your own standards on purpose, it will come off as a chef-tantrum that's beneath your talents. All the best to you.

cretinss writes:

NTA. You are correct that your entire family is unappreciative. You parents complain if you do better than your siblings, and then complain when you do the same. And your siblings just want tacos.

There's a thing that happens with siblings. Most of the time, if one sibling is good at something, the other siblings won't even try. My brother was 14 months older, both smart, but I could never beat him at chess. He was in Chess Club, so I never joined. I did theatre, something he would never do.

You like cooking, and you are good at it. Because of that, neither of them will probably ever EVEN TRY to be better than you.

You've stopped trying to please them, and that's fine. But I think you would do better to just try to please yourself. Don't do it for compliments, and don't listen to the complaints. Because they will probably never compliment you, and they will complain whether it's good or bad.

middlse67writ writes:

NTA. Use them to improve your cooking and ignore their hate. It's something you enjoy, so keep doing it. There is no reason you can't be a chef BTW.

For your parents' concern about cost, ask them for a budget amount and stick to that. Yes, this will limit your option's but it will make you far better long term.

All chefs have to work to financial constraints and make it work; it's just that some have bigger budgets than others. Being forced to use cheaper meat cuts and finding different places to source ingredients just makes you a better person at your trade.

As for the hate and moaning, this happens to us all. Judge them on how empty their plates are, not the mean comments they make especially since siblings do it because siblings and parents do it because they think their funny.

Add in a sprinkle of old-fashioned jealousy, and your harshest critics can be your family. I'd take a cheeky gamble that they boast about the good food they're eating to their friends.

slownature8 writes:

NTA You usually can't be fast, cheap, and good all at the same time. I understand the budget issue, which was your parent's fault for not setting a budget. The small amount of extra cooking time is no big deal, and I certainly wouldn't complain about waiting a few minutes to get nicer meals.

I'd love it if both of my kids were that interested in cooking. My 10-year-old is becoming interested at the moment. As long as it's not expensive, I'm more than happy to buy the ingredients he wants.

Next time, do my favorite lazy dinner: cook some meat and put all the salad ingredients out in a low-key buffet. Everyone makes their own, so less complaining. I get spinach with chicken, strawberries, goat cheese, and a vinaigrette.

The kids take romaine with cheddar and French dressing with chicken on the side. We're all neurodivergent, so requiring kids to always eat the same as me is not always worth the mental pain!