'AITA if I tell my niece the truth about why she can’t go on vacation with me anymore?'

"WIBTAH if I tell my niece the truth about why she can’t go on vacation with me?"

Hey! Really need some advice here. I hardly ever post but names, ages, and gender are always a little different so no one can identify me. Apologies for the formatting, and don't steal my post or share to other platforms.

Every 2-3 years for the past decade, I (39F) have taken my sister (42), and her kids (14F, 17F, 22M) on vacation to Universal Studios Florida. My nephew is on the spectrum and has a number of different issues including ADHD which he's on meds for. This is relevant later.

Around the time that we started going on these family vacations (which I've paid for) my sister graduated with her BA in social work. Since graduating, her personality started to change and people (friends and fam) started noticing, but no one ever said anything. It was just weird.

Over the last 2 years or so, she's made new friends around her age that she's grown very close to. During this same time, her behavior has gotten progressively worse, to the point where she thinks she's always right and won't listen to reason or logic.

She also says that her new friends are more her family over her own siblings and mother. My sister is my father's golden child, so he can do no wrong in her eyes. I don't think her friends like me very much, but I couldn't care less about them.

It's important to note here (per the timeline) that my nephew wanted to decrease his medication doses, and was able to do so with his doctor’s approval. He tried to throw them away, but I had suggested that he walk them down to the local pharmacy and dispose of them in their medication disposal bin.

He asked me to do it, and without thinking, I agreed. I seriously thought nothing of it and didn’t realize it would come back to bite me.

Back to my sister. Things got really bad between us in March. She said she needed to talk to me, but wouldn't say about what, and I had no idea. She came to my house and accused me of stealing my nephews meds.

I laughed and told her she was crazy. Her logic was that I lost too much weight (I was almost 300 lbs, and I lost 90 lbs over the last 2 years with diet and exercise-literally kept a food diary and recorded my work outs).

I tried to reason with her and explain that the weight loss was happening over a period of time, way before my nephew started to decrease his dosages. But she wasn't having any of it and said she’s not a fing red.

She then started making demands (demanded that I hand the medication over, and open a little tiny money safe that I have.). She also started name calling, and proceeded to go through my personal belongings.

She then asked me where my other safe was and this confused me because I don’t own another safe. I told her to leave or I was calling the cops, which I did a minute later. Cops told her to leave and I was left in disbelief.

She is now trying to turn her kids against me. Her 17 yr old did believe the lies being spread, but claimed she came to her senses and her mom was wrong to do what she did. She will be 18 by the time we go in December, but I suspect my younger niece will not be allowed to go. My sister was very adamant that she doesn’t want anyone (including the 14 year old) to know what happened.

I tried to text my sister to ask, but she said she needs to talk to me. I refuse to speak to anyone who believes I took my nephews meds. I think I touched on the relevant points but I’m happy to provide more info if necessary. WIBTA if I was honest with my niece when she asks why she can’t go to universal?

This is what people had to say to OP:

Moon_Ray_77 said:

Um, why was she freaking the f out about the meds? Was she also taking them. Her reaction was WAY to over the top for this situation.

"My sister was very adamant that she doesn’t want anyone (including the 14 year old) to know what happened." Do you mean that your sister doesn't want anyone to know about her freak out? Even though she was spreading lies about you? Something there doesn't make sense...

OP responded:

I agree, her reaction was way over the top. Yes she texted me later that day saying she didn’t want anyone in the family knowing about what she did, especially her daughter. I did not respond.

Shaeos said:

I mean, id go with the whole "your mother doesn't want me to talk about this topic with you" route.

OP responded:

I think that’s probably best. Let her mother tell her why. It kills me that this is happening and that the little one is paying the price.

TeachPotential9523 said:

Sounds like her freak out maybe as the person above said he's taking her son's meds and then you throwing them out the way you did freaked her out because now she don't have them

MarzipanSoggy9120 said:

I think you have a right and duty to yourself to tell your niece the truth and attempt to clear your name. Where was your nephew in all this? Did he speak up?

And OP responded:

He did. He tried to defend me and she told him he was an idiot if he didn’t see it. He’s been really upset because he feels like he has to choose between his mother and myself. I assured him I wasn’t mad at him as I have no reason to be. I think his mother said something but I can’t prove it.

Seven months later, OP shared this update:

A bunch of details were changed so I could remain anonymous. I will refer to my sister as Sheila. I think I posted it in here but if anyone remembers my story from 6-8 months ago, Sheila (a social worker) accused me of stealing some meds (controlled substance) from my disabled nephew.

It resulted in a huge fight and I was told that I could not take my little niece (his little sister) on vacation with me. The fine people on reddit provided some great tips on how I can deal with the situation, and what to tell my niece.

In the meantime, things went from bad, to worse. I was questioned, and I told my niece and her father to direct all questions to the mother. They did, and they were both shut down and told it was none of their business. Dad was obviously mad that he wasn't getting answerers and wanted to know why his daughter was being excluded.

My nieces friend ended up inviting her to universal, so that made me happy. I took my other niece and nephew on vacation (they are both over the age of 18) so their mother legally couldn't say no. We went at a completely different time than the other munchkin, so no problems there.

Sheila and I met at a public location (McDonalds was a safe bet) and one of our nieces joined in to play referee (she's also 26 years old). She wanted to be there, so I was okay with this. Sheila grew annoyed that I had an answer for everything. She grew even more annoyed that I had some proof to backup my claims.

Some of you suggested that Sheila sounded like she was the one taking something as there was no reason for her to be THAT upset and her actions weren't warranted. The family has noticed the tension and I'm glad I spoke up, as multiple family members have offered their support.

Sheila and I still aren't talking, but I got to see my little niece twice in the last year, with her mother being very nearby. Not her choice as we were at a birthday party for another relative. Sheila knew I was going to be there.

Sheila still believes that I have the meds, and continues to try and convince her kids that I'm stealing and abusing them. Both older niece and nephew have shut this idea down and told her that she's wild. Same niece also told Sheila that it's a common med taken by thousands of college kids and that Sheila has friends who probably tried worse.

Not sure if there will be another update, but wanted to give an update to anyone who remembers this.