'AITA for banning my roommate's BF from my house after what I found in my bathroom?'

"WIBTA if I told my roommate she can't have her boyfriend over anymore after what I found in my bathroom?"

I (24F) live with my roommate Sarah (25F). we've been living together for about 8 months. separate bedrooms but we share a bathroom. rent is split 50/50, utilities too, everything's been fine.

Sarah's boyfriend started staying over a lot about 3 months ago. like multiple nights a week. I didn't really care at first because he's quiet and usually just stays in her room. I figured whatever it's her space too.

but then I started noticing my stuff going missing. small things. like my shampoo would run out way faster than it should. my razor. one of my towels just disappeared. I thought maybe I was being paranoid or forgetting things.

two weeks ago I bought this specific face moisturizer that's like $40. I use it every night. it's in a tub so you can tell how much is left. I used it Monday night and there was plenty left. Wednesday I go to use it and it's almost empty. like more than half the tub is just gone.

I texted Sarah and asked if she used my face cream. she said no. I let it go but I was pretty sure someone did. so yesterday I got home early from work. Sarah wasn't home but I heard the shower running. I figured she got home before me but then I heard a man's voice. singing. it was her boyfriend.

I knocked on the bathroom door like hey I need to grab something. he goes "just a sec" and when he opens the door he's in a towel and I can see behind him. my lotion is sitting on the counter. my body wash is in the shower. he's clearly been using all my stuff.

I was so caught off guard I didn't even say anything. I just grabbed what I needed and left. but I'm furious. he doesn't pay rent. he doesn't live here. and he's using up my expensive products without asking.

I texted Sarah last night and told her we need to talk. I said I'm not comfortable with her boyfriend staying over anymore if he's going to treat my things like they're communal. she called me and got really defensive saying I'm overreacting and it's just soap and lotion. I said it's $40 face cream and also the principle of it

she said her boyfriend probably didn't realize it was mine and thought it was hers. I said he's been over enough to know what's hers and what's mine. she said I'm being petty and controlling and she's allowed to have guests. I told her fine but he needs to bring his own stuff or replace what he uses. she said I'm being ridiculous and hung up on me

now she's barely speaking to me and her boyfriend hasn't been over since. my other friend says I should have just talked to the boyfriend directly instead of making it Sarah's problem. but like. he's not on the lease? I shouldn't have to manage her guest? WIBTA if I hold firm on this?

This is what people had to say to OP:

Annual_Government_80 said:

Someone’s guest shouldn’t be there when that person is not there. They shouldn’t have complete access to your space when no one else is home.

Interesting-Gift9504 said:

nah u ain’t wrong. dude’s basically freeloadin n usin ur stuff like he pays bills 💀 i’d be pissed too.

Dog-PonyShow said:

If you think even for one moment he may have used your razor, it's time to get checked for infectious diseases.

AParticular-Tailor-21 said:

Why is he in the house showering when no one is home?? Why doesn't your roommate ever stay at his house? There should definitely be limits on the amount someone has people over.. If you never said anything to him how would he know not to use certain things or eat certain things..

Whatever the case if he stays over he should be leaving in the morning and eating and showering at his own place.. Hopefully she didn't give him a key But how else was he there when no one else was

OP added in the comments:

last month I also noticed food missing. like I meal prep on sundays and I'll make 5 lunches for the week and by Thursday there's only 3 left in the fridge. I thought I was going crazy and just forgetting if I ate them. but now I'm wondering if he's been eating my food too.

I feel like I sound paranoid but also my stuff keeps disappearing when he's here and I don't think that's a coincidence. maybe I should have said something sooner but I hate confrontation and I kept hoping I was wrong