BF throws fit over GF's chickens, 'AITA for telling my BF he should move out of my house?'
"AITA for telling my bf he should move out of my house?"
throwaway2049u
I(28F) bought my house 5 years ago. I got an inheritance from my great aunt who passed away and has no children. I was also saving for a home at the time and was able to buy a house with 20% down and pay off all my student loans.
So I’m very grateful to her for that. I bought a very small house on a big lot which was pretty affordable back in the day as everyone wanted a big house and didn’t care as much about the backyard space.
My bf(31M) and I moved in together a year ago and he pays rent to me but it’s much lower than he would pay if he rented elsewhere. He began complaining about how I ran my house like that I hang up my laundry outside on clotheslines and also because I tore out the grass in my front yard to make a wildflower garden and clover lawn.
I don’t know why he has opinions about what the lawn is made of but he complains it looks ghetto. It’s not even obstructing his hobbies, he doesn’t even hang out outside.
The big arguments came recently from me getting chickens. My city has a backyard chicken program where they grant permits for people to have backyard chickens. I got my permit after applying for 3 years straight and began looking to get chickens.
I spent last summer building a coop. My bf knows how to use tools but refused to help saying it will make the house look like a barnyard. So I did it myself and now he is complaining he moved in with me to live in a house not a farm.
He claims the chickens will be disgusting but our neighbour got the permit last year and has chickens but there is no weird smells or sounds coming from them. Last night I finally got the 4 heritage breed chickens I was looking for and told him and he yelled at me for not listening to him.
I was sick of this and told him to move out since he can’t stand to live in a house with chickens in the backyard and he got all quiet and proceeded to ignore me today. I’m starting to think he wants to move out but doesn’t want to deal with the high rent elsewhere.
He is always telling me because he pays rent he should get a say. AITA for telling him to move out because he won’t let me do as I want on my own property? My house is finally looking like the house of my dreams and I put work in every weekend to do it all myself. I feel like he is now intruding on my paradise and being super critical of everything has me wanting him to leave.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
honorablenarwhal
Don't leave it up to him. Kick him out. This is YOUR home.
grandlizardo
He is telling you who he is. Listen!
Electronic_Wait_7500
This! It's YOUR house. This is not the man for you. Somewhere out there is a chicken luvin' wildflower pickin' dude looking for a home and a good woman, and you won't find him with that loser clinging to your leg!
Last-Mathematician97
I actually did the same as OP, I wanted the majority of front yard natural with paths carved in, and we did it. I wanted chickens & my husband built a great coop. Find the right guy OP.
No_Sound_1149
NTA and also
NEVER PUT HIS NAME ON THE TITLE.
AdditionalRead8084
I added my husband to the title as the 10th anniversary present. By that time, he had contributed a lot to the house, he's been an awesome partner and a great dad. So, I wouldn't say "never", but it's a huge decision.
OP's bf doesn't even come close to being allowed to stay (kick his butt!) Find a boyfriend who will help with the chickens and wildflowers, who will love you as you are, and who will make your life better for being part of it.
Substantial-Air3395
Keep the chickens, lose the boyfriend.
Lady_Jane888
NTA. It's your house, period. He's paying a tiny rentish amount. Not actually rent. Not equal, so no he doesn't get a say. Lol! Not a real rent lease agreement. This is him finding out he doesn't call the shots in YOUR HOME.
When he actually pays a down payment, works on the house, and pays half the costs, he can have a say, until then he can stfu or get out. Also until he apologizes or decides if he is or isn't moving out, tell him not to even think of sleeping in your bed.
zombiemadre
NTA. You two are incompatible and should break up.
facw00
This is the heart of the issue. She shouldn't just be kicking him out, she should be breaking up. His vision of home life is one that lots of people share, but she isn't one of them, and while it might be possible to make things work with some sort of compromise, they clearly haven't, so there's no reason to think they will.
MeticulousPlonker
I absolutely agree. We could all argue in circles over whether or not he should get an opinion on what happens with the house. In an ideal relationship, rent or no, I think he should. But every single one of his opinions is in stark contrast to the person who actually owns the house.
They simply don't want to live in the same environments. Him moving out and them NOT breaking up is just kicking the can down the road. They're going to come back to it eventually and it will still be the same can in the same road.