'AITA for telling both my family and my BF’s family to stop pressuring us?'

"AITA for telling both my family and my BF’s family to stop pressuring us?"

My boyfriend (M late 20s) and I (F late 20s) have been together for almost 10 years. We’ll hit the big 10 in February 2026. We’re genuinely happy with where we are. We’ve talked about our future countless times, we both see each other in it long-term, and we know we’re each other’s forever. We’re just not in a rush to put a ring on it.

But lately, both sides of our families have been nonstop about the topic. His parents have been dropping comments about getting older and wanting grandkids soon. My family keeps talking about how they can’t wait for a wedding since I’d be the first in the family to get married. Every time we’re around them, the conversation somehow becomes about marriage, engagement, timelines, or babies.

We’re not avoiding engagement out of doubt. We’re simply prioritizing our life the way we want to live it. We’re happy, we’re committed, and we’re focusing on traveling and experiencing the world right now.

We’re going to Tokyo at the end of this year, Seoul early next year, and we’re planning for Europe and other Asian cities too. We want to enjoy these moments without feeling like we’re racing against someone else’s expectations. After yet another round of pressure from both sides, I finally spoke up.

I told them, calmly but firmly, that while we appreciate their excitement, the constant pushing is making something that should be special feel stressful. I asked them to stop bringing up engagements, weddings, or babies unless we bring it up first. Now, a few family members comment, “we’re just excited for you,” “don’t be so dramatic,” and “10 years is too long.”

My boyfriend completely agrees with me and supports everything I said, but now I’m left wondering…AITA for setting that boundary and asking our families to stop pressuring us to get engaged and start a family?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

jrm1102 said:

NTA - of course you're not an AH for saying this, especially since you did it calmly.

Vicious133 said:

NTA. This is your timeline not theirs. As much as I want to be a gramma I refuse to put any pressure on my kids to have children. If they want them I’d love that if they don’t I’d love that for them.

I’d be sad but it’s not my life it’s theirs to choose for themselves. People just need to stay in their own lane about other peoples lives and timelines. Good luck and I hope You enjoy the traveling.

K_A_irony said:

NTA...not at all...but why do you view an engagement and marriage as counter to enjoying your life and having fun? I have had a TON of fun and travel with my husband.

davehal2001 said:

NTA!!!! You're under zero obligation to live your life to someone else's expectations.

CelestialRestricted said;

NTA, but what’s the big deal about getting married? It’s just a piece of paper. Getting married doesn’t mean your plans have to stop. Depending on where you live you could be “common law” married. You have the right to decide when but why do you think getting bc married stops you from going through with all your plans?!

rowan1981 said:

NTA. I do wonder though, you say you want to travel internationally. Wouldn't that be easier if you two are married? Should anything happen and you or him end up injured?