'AITA for not telling my boyfriend I could understand his language this whole time?'
"AITA for not telling my boyfriend I could understand his language this whole time?"
I (18F), have been with my boyfriend (19M) for 2 years now. This all started when we first met 3 years ago. I was new at our high school and he introduced me to his friend group, which had mostly french speakers.
I’ve never been confident with my french speaking due to insecurity about my accent, but I can understand the language perfectly, I was just too embarrassed to let them know because I was scared they’d ask me to try speak french with them.
I got really close with the friend group, and my boyfriend and I got together after one year of speaking. My not speaking French had never been a problem because he would speak English around me and always made sure his friends did the same, and it went on for so long than I just didn’t have the heart to tell him that I could understand them anyways.
The problem started in uni. We both got a house off campus together, but my boyfriend was always coming back really late. I had convinced myself that he was probably occupied with uni stuff, but the other night I overheard him talking on the phone to one of his French friends about how he’d hooked up with 3 different girls at the same time and I was completely baffled.
I confronted him, but instead of being apologetic, he got mad that I could actually understand what he was saying. I tried to come up with an excuse and say I managed to pick up the language after all the time we’ve been together but he doesn’t believe me since he never speaks french around me and he said he can’t trust me anymore.
He’s staying at a friends house right now and I don’t know if i’m at fault here for not telling him I understand french or if the real problem is him cheating…AITA, and if yes, what do I do?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
BungCrosby said:
He’s absolutely double f'd. Not only was he fucking cheating on you, but he was flaunting doing so in front of you in a language he didn’t know you understood. You are NTA.
Flirty_katrina said:
It's so unfair that he's trying to twist this to make it your fault. You deserve way better than that kind of treatment.
Hottie_HollyBaby said:
Girl. He's trying to deflect from his cheating by making it about your French skills. Don't fall for it! You deserve someone who's honest and faithful, not someone who blames you for their own mistakes.
AtheneSchmidt said:
He can't trust you? NTA, please make the split permanent.
Such_Manner_5518 said:
Dump him in French.
forever_single_now said:
NTA. Was certainly a bad move to hide it from your bf. But don’t let him gaslight you. Yes you were wrong. Period. Topic closed. Now let’s address the elephant in the room. He cheated…just dump him.
He will by any means try to guilt trip you. Of course he will stick to the language but it’s up to you to just keep him out of your life and keep focused. The issue is the cheating not any bs he might try to deflect your attention into.
Wanderer-2609 said:
Him cheating is the real problem. Break up with him. “Why did you break up." “She didn’t tell me she could speak French and heard me bragging about how I cheated on her with 3 girls." NTA. A footnote in your life.