Tattoo or not tattoo: Couple's love awkwardly tested over inking each other's names. AITA? + UPDATE
"AITA for telling my boyfriend I'm not getting his name tattooed on me?"
Familiar-Voice6271
I get matching tattoos, but each others names? I really can’t do it. A tattoo is permanent unless you want to pay more money to get it removed. so to me….it’s permanent.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year or so and he asked me if we should get each others name’s tattooed on each other and I immediately said “yea, no thank you”
He was like: “whyyyy” “what’s wrong with getting each others names?”
I’m sorry, but no. I told him how I refuse to put anyone’s name on me if it isn’t me or my twin sister. And ONLY my twin sister because she’s the only person who has been in my life full years of living. or my kids name…
He said stuff like : “this could actually show our love towards one another”
I told him we can still love each other very much without having each others name permanently on our skin. I just feel like it’s a stretch. And you never know what could happen in the future. It’s just a waste of money if we end up breaking up.
Then came : “my parents are still married and happy and they got each others names tattooed”
Like yea, I get that. But Im not doing it. It’s just too far. I respect anyone who chooses that path, but I can’t do it.
My boyfriend took it as I think that me and him will break up soon and I don’t love him like he loves me, but that isn’t true. I just don’t want something to be stuck on me when that person I thought I’d love forever turns out to be the one I no longer love. AITA? Or is my reasons valid?
Edit: I’m 22 and he’s 25
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's initial post:
SpookyRatCreature
Tattoo rule 1: Never get partners name tattooed. NTA.
lulumagroo
Tell him a good way for him to show you that he loves you would be to stop pressuring you to do something you don't want to do.
jdo5000
NTA the fact that he doesn’t respect the fact that you DONT want to do this is a great demonstration of why you shouldn’t do it.
Peridios9
NTA your reasons are very valid and he should respect them you told him no so he should accept that boundary.
maroongrad
That's a ten-year-anniversary action. You've been dating ONE YEAR. Not married. Not even engaged. NORMAL PEOPLE do NOT push for tattoos of each other's names. Period.
They might suggest it as something fun after several years of marriage, sure. But this is not a sane or normal suggestion. Is he really controlling, really immature, or really stupid??? And is that what you want to date??? I really hope you're teens because if you are older than that and putting up with him pressuring someone he's DATING to get NAME TATTOO...what are you thinking!
Superb_Duck3353
If he wants a commitment indication, tell him to do what I did for my wife 42 years ago: shell out a couple of thousand dollars for a diamond ring. He is a stupid, absolute j@ck@ss.
Seventeen days later, the OP's returned with an update.
Familiar-Voice6271
I posted this a while. A summary for the ones who don’t know. My boyfriend asked me if I got his name tattooed on him which I said no because it’s just too much which he felt meant that I didn’t think we were going to last and I didn’t love him.
But anyways. We are now not together anymore. I broke up with him like three days ago. He was showing lots of signs of toxicity which many warned me about. I’m sure he was talking to another woman…so yea. Had to call it quits. Now I’m single and living great.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
CorporalPunishment23
Reminds me of one of the most teachable moments I experienced in Marine Corps boot camp. Every evening as the training day is wrapping up, the recruits get a bit of personal time to write letters, polish boots etc.
Then everyone gets in line in front of their bunks, and the DI on duty will ask if anyone has any "personal problems" to report. Guy across from me says "Sir, this recruit needs some sandpaper, sir!"
He has a tattoo that reads "Ana" on his shoulder blade... and an open letter he's just received sitting on his footlocker. The lesson: don't put anyone else's name on your body.
MissThreepwood
GOOD. FOR. YOU! You dodged a bullet and a tattoo removal appointment in the future. 🥳
kokokaraib
"Brand yourself for me, my love."
Doesn't seem very romantic, to be honest.
AquaticStoner1996
OP is one thousand percent right in their reasons of not wanting to get matching names. I agree with them fully. That's clingy and toxic as hell to want your partner to not only tattoo their name on you, but only after a year of dating?! I've been with my husband six years and I can't decide still on a little matching tattoo!
sofia_dimitrov16
Absolutely, that's a life lesson served up with a side of boot camp discipline. It's funny how the universe will conspire to hand you wisdom, often in moments or from people you'd least expect.
It goes to show, the choices we make on a whim can have lasting impressions, both physically and metaphorically. Here's to the stories we can laugh about later and to the small victories in recognizing future tattoos should probably be spellchecked by life first.
CrazySnekGirl
I'm a tattoo artist. The amount of people who come in wanting their partner's name inked, when they've been dating less than a year, is insane. What's worse, is that 90% of the time, one of them is clearly being coerced/guilted into it. If I think for one second that someone isn't enthusiastic and committed to getting a tattoo, I'll refuse to work on them. It's not worth it.