'AITA for telling my boyfriend I won’t meet his family until he stops texting his ex?'

"AITA for telling my boyfriend I won’t meet his family until he stops texting his ex?"

So I’ve been dating this guy for almost 8 months now and things have been really good like genuinely good. He’s sweet thoughtful remembers the dumb little things I mention and actually shows up when he says he will which honestly feels like winning the lottery at this point. Anyway his family’s been asking to meet me for weeks and he finally invited me to Sunday dinner at his parents’ place next weekend.

Cool right? Except here’s the thing. Last night I was half asleep on his couch and his phone lit up on the coffee table. I didn’t mean to look but it was right in my line of sight and the notification said “Goodnight babe” from someone named “M” and I just…froze. I know that’s his ex Mia. They dated for like two years before me and apparently “ended things amicably” which I believed until now.

When I asked him about it this morning he got all defensive like “it’s just a habit we’ve done that for years it doesn’t mean anything.” But bro you don’t text your ex “goodnight babe” with a heart emoji while you’re trying to introduce your current girlfriend to your mom like we’re building a future. That’s not a habit that’s emotional leftovers and I’m not eating someone else’s crumbs.

So I told him I’m not stepping foot in his parents’ house until those late night texts stop. Not because I’m trying to control him but because if he’s serious about us then his actions should reflect that not send mixed signals to two women at once.

He called me insecure and said I’m overreacting. Maybe I am but I also know my worth and I’m not playing second fiddle to a ghost who still gets pet names after midnight. You think I’m TA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

dreadandloathing said:

NTA. Honestly this is a major red flag. I can understand maybe staying friends with an ex, i’m friends with mine but i don’t call them babe, nor would i ever. I’d be concerned something more was going on. I’d also like to point out that calling you insecure & claiming you’re overreacting is invalidating how you feel & your discomfort, which is also not great for your partner to do, especially when your concern is extremely valid.

UnableSale260 said:

No no no you're NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like an awful person. Not only is he blatantly emotionally cheating, but he is trying to manipulate you by calling you insecure when what he is doing is bang out of order. Most people would literally end the relationship if they caught them sending messages like that to their ex.

Wonderful_Shower_793 said:

You already know you’re NTA. And he may be a “good” boyfriend, but not really since he’s doing it for two women.

Worth-Season3645 said:

NTA…Major red flag. Still involved with the ex.

kaysowot said:

NTA!! You'll turn up to family dinner and Mia will be there as well.

Commercial_Ball8397 said:

NTA. Make a life with a man interested in making your life better. Adding to your joy, to your peace, interested in making your load "lighter" and increasing your bank account. Likewise, find a partner that inspires you to make their lives better.