Woman pretends to have lost her hands to avoid 'insulting' crafting gifts from boyfriend's family. AITA?
"AITA for telling my boyfriend's family I needed my hands amputated after they kept giving me craft supplies as gifts?"
rosieqp
I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about three years. I’m really into crafting and love reusing things most people would throw away, like empty bottles or soda tabs.
Over time, my boyfriend’s family started saving things for me, like old cans or random scraps, and honestly, I thought it was super sweet. I’ve always appreciated that they thought of me.
But here’s where things got kind of... weird. My birthday is super close to my boyfriend’s sister’s (28F), like only five days apart, so we had a joint birthday party last year.
As gifts, they gave me a bag full of “craft supplies,” like soda tabs, empty bottles, and some random other bits and bobs. I mean, it was thoughtful in a way, but then his sister got these super nice gifts, like a pandora charm bracelet and an apple watch.
I felt a little embarrassed to be honest, but I kept smiling and thanked them because I really do appreciate gifts in general. My boyfriend noticed, though, and he got really upset—he even wanted to call them out, but I told him to let it go and not cause drama.
Then last christmas happened. A few days before, I’d hurt my wrists at the gym (nothing major, just a scrape and some bandages), but I hadn’t told his family about it since I hadn’t seen them. Only my family and my boyfriend knew what actually happened.
So christmas morning comes, and we’re all opening presents together. His family gave everyone else these amazing gifts—new shoes, jewelry, an iphone, gift cards worth like hundreds of dollars. When I opened mine, I got… an empty soda bottle, some used (and dirty) aluminum foil, and a handful of soda tabs. That was it.
Look, I’m all about crafting, but this felt kinda insulting. My boyfriend was fuming, but we decided to keep quiet for now. Then his family asked me, all smiling, “do you like your gifts?” I just… snapped. I smiled back and said, “oh thank you so much! I really appreciate it. But unfortunately, I won’t be able to use them anymore because of my accident.”
They looked confused, so I explained (very seriously) that my injury was worse than it looked and that both my hands would have to be amputated. My boyfriend nodded with a straight face and added that we hadn’t told anyone yet because it was a really emotional situation for me.
Their faces went WHITE. They started apologizing, saying they had no idea and how awful they felt. A few of them even looked like they might cry. I just nodded and said, “It’s okay, I’m used to it by now,” and left it at that. We left shortly after.
Here’s the thing—my hands are totally fine. It was just a couple of scrapes, but I was so hurt and angry about the “gifts” that I wanted them to realize how thoughtless they were being.
My boyfriend thinks I was justified, but later his sister texted me saying I was cruel for “making a scene” and guilt tripping the whole family on xmas (ig the word got to her that my hands are fine).
So now I’m starting to feel a little bad.
Did I go too far? AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Equal_Factor_6449
For me that was over the top. You should have let your BF deal with it the first time he wanted to. Thing is those gifts are an insult. This time have your BF talk with them.
74Magick
Oh my GODDESS, I'm DYING. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm aware my sense of humor is kind of fucked, but this is hilarious. NTA.
TopAd7154
Kinda YTA. It was an extreme joke IMO. The gifts were thoughtless and insulting but I think your boyfriend should have addressed it with them. Something like "OP has enough craft supplies and honestly? It looks like you're giving her a bag of trash and that isn't ok.
Here's a link to something I know she'll love way more than more crafting supplies. Please do not give her any more; her feelings are actually hurt and she does not like these gifts."
And when they asked you if you liked them, you should have been honest. "Thank you for thinking of me but I have no use for this." Putting the rubbish in the bin would have made a better statement than some ridiculous story about amputation.
FunctionIcy4562
Wow if I were you I would've let him go... That's insulting... I could feel the insult for you... Giving garbage as a gift?!? Life what in the fuck... That's something you give if you guys are stopping by or vis3 versa. I don't even know what to say but nope you are nta at all!!!!!
roseecurvyy
NTA – You were hurt by the thoughtless gifts, and your reaction, though dramatic, was a way to express your frustration. It’s understandable to feel upset, but next time, a more direct conversation might be better to avoid causing unnecessary drama.
Lazy-Cat-7183
Maybe a bit overboard, your bf could talk with his family about that before¿? It could have been handled another way, but if they were giving you just trash, well it's justified.
marmeemarmee
So I’m actually disabled and yeah, YTA for that. Like…what? Why was that your response? Very unhinged!
camkats
YTA you aren’t a family member. They may not have planned to give you anything. But think your boyfriend should have discussed with them prior- so he helped put you in this situation.
designatedthrowawayy
I won't say you're TA for how you reacted in the heat of the moment. This was a cruel gift with what one would only assume is malicious intent or somehow looking down on you. Of course your response was also cruel. A little much, but what's done is done. Now you need to sit down with your boyfriend and his family and have an adult conversation with them.