'AITA for telling my brother that his friend’s parents threw away his college acceptance letter?'
"AITA for telling my brother that his friend’s parents threw away his college acceptance letter?"
This happened yesterday. For background my parents have been friends with Matt and Amy for many years. They have a son named Stephen (18). Him and my brother (18) are best friends.
Today my mom called me (f20) and asked if it would be wrong to throw away a college acceptance letter of my brothers that was far away because she didn’t want him to go.
She would literally never do that so I thought it was a weird/funny way to tell me that my brother got accepted out of state. She then got serious and asked me if that would be wrong and I immediately (because she would never do that) asked who she knew that did that.
She reluctantly said that Matt and Amy had thrown away a college acceptance letter of Stephen’s for a college that he really wanted to go to because they thought it was too far away. It’s not even out of state, it’s four hours by car.
I told my mom that I was really disappointed that they are the type of people that would do that and she said she told Amy off for it. My mom didn’t want me to tell anyone, she was just ranting to me and if I told Stephen, Amy would know that my mom told me.
I said I wouldn’t but I immediately told my brother. I called him and let him know, he was gutted for his friend. He let me know that he would encourage his whole group of friends to check online statuses of colleges they applied too in case acceptance letters got lost. That way my mom would not be put in the middle of it.
I thought it was a pretty good plan until I mentioned it to a college friend and she thought I should stay out of others people’s business. She said that I’m an AH for trying to meddle. So internet, AITA for telling my brother that his friend’s parents threw away his college acceptance letter?
EDIT: I do think now that there’s no way that Stephen didn’t get an email about his acceptance so if there’s a silver lining, my “meddling” may have been unnecessary. I honestly didn’t even think about it when I called my brother, I just wanted to make sure Stephen did not miss an opportunity.
SLIGHT UPDATE: I called my mom this morning and asked if she told my brother, she said she did and I admitted to telling him yesterday on the phone as well. She just kinda laughed and said “I figured you would”. Lol she knows my brother and I all too well.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
AnonAnontheAnony
NTA - No, you are not the AH at all. That's a horrible thing to do, and very selfish to toss away someone elses future because of what you want. Normally, I stay on the 'keep out of it' line, mind your own business, but you were asked directly and it was right for you to let him know the truth. God that is so manipulative... You weren't meddling, you were literally dragged into it!
Aggressive_Cattle320
NTA What they did is horrible, and it's illegal to tamper with mail that is not addressed to them. Never mind the hinting around, someone needs to tell Stephen, NOW, about this! He applied to the college and was accepted.
What Amy and Matt "want" is irrelevant in this case. Their son has the God given right to select the college he wants to attend, for himself!He will find out, sooner or later, and he will feel betrayed by anyone who knew and did nothing. What his parents did was unforgivable.
Trespassingw
NTA. They did awful thing. Moreover, it's illegal to open letter addressed to another person, it is a crime called "Obstruction of Correspondence." It is a serious felony that could lead to prison time. People don't usually think about it, but meddling in correspondence between other people or person and school is illegal, not saying immoral. Phew.
Bubbly-Confusion5934
NTA. My petty self would have made a group chat congratulating the friend on getting in. Your "friend" sounds like hater. Ask them if theyre mad they didn't get into the college they wanted.
ChefJTD
I wonder how your college friend would have felt if her parents had done the same to her? NTA. I think the plan of having all the friends check their online status is a good way to keep your mom and you out of the drama.
If the family of the friend think that it is too far away, that is a discussion they will have to have, but simply destroying the evidence of his acceptance is not the way to handle their fear of them going away to college.
StuckWanderlust
I think you're a pure heart and I understand the icky feeling when you're "in the know" without wanting to be. It should be a discussion between then and the parents. Total bummer that his mom committed mail fraud to discourage him from a specific school.
Altruistic_Band_9910
No. Ask your friend how they’ll feel if their parents did the same and if their friend knew, would they want them to tell them. What the parents did was wrong and i’m sure some how illegal and hint at a toxic parental relationship.
You and your brother set things back on track as they should in the best way possible and in a non-traumatic way to both parties (friend and his parents). You are a Hero actually. (Given that this was the college he wanted to go to)
I reckon if you go deep enough you’ll find that your friend might be projecting (there was probably a time someone exposed one of their agendas and now they resent people who try to set things back to normal when finding out of wrong doings. Again, you are the unknown hero to your brothers friend, wear that badge with honor.