'AITA for telling my brother’s fiancée (in front of everyone) that she was being rude in my own house?'

"AITA for telling my brother’s fiancée in front of everyone that she was being rude and disrespectful in my own house after I tried to stay polite the whole evening and she just kept pushing it?"

This happened last night, and honestly, I didn’t sleep well because I kept going over it in my head. I hosted a small dinner at my place for close family, my parents, my brother, his fiancée, and a couple of mutual friends. Nothing crazy, just food, wine, and catching up. I’d spent the whole day cleaning, cooking, and trying to make everything nice because I don’t host that often and wanted it to go smoothly.

From the moment my brother’s fiancée walked in, her energy was just...off. she didn’t greet me, barely made eye contact, and acted like she didn’t want to be there. I brushed it off, figuring maybe she had a rough day or something. but then she started in with the little comments.

Stuff like: Oh, I didn’t realize paper napkins were still a thing. Did you mean for the chicken to be this dry, or is it just your style? I guess not everyone’s cut out for entertaining.

I kept laughing awkwardly and trying to play it off, but it wasn’t just once or twice, she kept it going all night. And it wasn’t playful teasing, it was snide and clearly meant to embarrass me in front of everyone. A few people looked uncomfortable, but no one said anything.

Eventually, I just snapped. I looked right at her and said, if you’re gonna keep being rude and disrespectful in my house, you’re welcome to leave. you could hear a pin drop. my brother looked shocked. she said nothing. the rest of the dinner was super quiet and tense.

Later, my mom texted me saying I was rude and could’ve handled it better. she thinks I should’ve just pulled her aside or ignored it for the sake of keeping the peace. my brother hasn’t reached out yet, and I don’t know if she said anything to him.

I get that I could’ve handled it more gracefully, but I also feel like I was pushed to that point. I didn’t raise my voice, I didn’t insult her, I just asked her to stop being rude in my own space. AITA for finally saying something out loud instead of just silently taking it like I usually do?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Rare-Humor-9192 said:

NTA. She was disrespecting you publicly. You had the right to call out her behavior publicly.

christopherc59 said:

NTA. If someone’s in your home, the least they can do is be respectful.

Grocro8 said:

You didn’t do anything wrong. it’s okay to stand up for yourself, especially after being pushed all evening. you asked for respect in your own home...that’s not rude, that’s reasonable.

ThreeInOne78 said:

NTA in any way. Your brother should have told her to knock it off as soon as she started being rude. I know some girls that would have thrown hands over that. She had no right to treat you like that. I'd never have her over again.

CleanCardiologist160 said:

NTA - your mom is wrong. She didn’t pull you to the side to make her snide remarks. So she doesn’t get any preferential treatment when she finally gets a response. Your brother is wrong. He should have quietly told her to stop or actually take her rude a$# home early. He should also second guess his decision to invite such a terrible person into your family. The only person not wrong in all of this was you.

MetaBurnout said:

NTA. I will never understand how rude people never get called out, but if you stand up for yourself and call out the rude behavior then that’s rude. You were well within your rights to call out rude behavior in your own home. No one should be a public punching bag to “keep the peace.”