'AITA for telling my coworker to focus on work instead of her ex?'
"AITA for telling my coworker to focus on work instead of worrying about her ex?"
So I work at a local deli and on this particular day was very busy so we were very short staffed. By the time 2-3 p.m came around, it was me till 5:30, a coworker till 4:30, a coworker till 6:30, and 2 coworkers who work till 9 heres where the co-worker in question comes in.
The day before she looked like she was dying of a fever. Me and a couple other people were in the back trying to help but ultimately she went home. Cut to the next day she didn't show up on time at 3:00 so I assumed she was still sick even though she didn't call, so I decided to ask the night manager to close the deli early and the manager agreed.
I would've asked either way tho just because the 2nd closer is a newbie. She eventually showed up about half an hour later after I asked to close early. I won't say her name but it turns out she just went through ANOTHER BREAK UP with another sketchy guy. He took her money she expected to be paid back but she hasn't saw it and seems to have been freaking out all day and night.
I don't know how much exactly but the point I wanna make is this is not the first situation she's put herself in. She keeps falling for these people who either take advantage of her or in general just very shady folks, which I don't believe is exactly her fault considering her home life isn't exactly ideal for love and support.
But I kinda was just like "cmon, really? Again? What did she expect?" All these going through my head but I just said "my best advice honestly I would take time to yourself" didn't have time to give a full fledged wisdom filled statement or convo. I've known her for a while before we started working the same job...
She also is very dependent on others most of the time. I'm trying to give as much context as I can without giving away her life out of respect but it's important to the story.
Cut to a little while later the 4:30 left and it was just us 3 up front while she was in the back doing dishes and other stuff, she doesn't come out much normally. But it's when I go back there to drop some food into the fryer I see her still on the verge of tears death staring her phone screen, dishes just sitting there.
Which in the moment ticked me off because I'm trying to get the big stuff around the place done while also helping the newbie while also helping customers (crapshow) so I looked at her and said "listen, whatever's going on outside of work should stay there until you are done or on break, we need you."
Safe to say she wasn't happy hitting me with her hateful voice tone essentially telling me to f off and I don't care about this job, I decided to ask if the newbie could tell her when I left to tell her I apologize because I didn't want her to be getting worse than she already is mentally. But to be honest I still meant what I said. She should understand at this point this should be nothing new to her. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
BackpackJack_ said:
NTA. I think you were pretty civil when you asked her to refocus on her job. Maybe you should just explain your side a bit more the next time you see each other. Her emotions were still high at that time, so maybe she also didn’t mean to react the way she did.
Time-Tie-231 said:
NTA. You should not apologize for what you said. You have tried to be supportive and what you said was perfectly correct.
getthislettuce said:
ESH - Going against the grain. While I agree it affects the team overall, this seems more like an issue for management. Everyone HAS to work and not everyone can be expected to have a perfect life outside of work, but it’s not my job to assume anything about my coworkers.
If she’s going to be late, can’t do her job, etc, she should be communicating with management and it should be addressed by them. From my experience, people who involve themselves in those types of relationships don’t “see it” until they do, and trying to communicate otherwise often causes more “drama."
sublime_369 said:
Whilst I feel sympathy for her situation, if she doesn't care about the job, she needs to leave because it's not okay to keep letting it all fall on other people to prop things up. NTA.
WholeAd2742 said:
NTA. Should let your manager know that her personal drama is affecting the work of the other employees.