'AITA for telling my coworker it is not MY fault she is unhappy?'

"AITA for telling my coworker it is not my fault she is unhappy?"

My coworker (32F, let's call her Sara) and I (26F) were hired at the same time around 2 months ago alongside a larger group of new hires. We all have the same job title, and because we were onboarded at the same time, we have been spending a decent amount of time together.

In the time I've known Sara, she always has a complaint of some kind and is never happy. I find that really draining to be around, so I've been trying to limit how much we have to interact outside of necessary meetings. But she's seemed to really latch onto me and been asking me a lot of questions throughout the onboarding process, and I've been getting really annoyed.

Like, girl, we started at the same time - I don't have access to more information, I just pay attention during orientation and trainings...she's super behind on getting access to buildings, equipment, software, etc. and has been complaining about it constantly, when I think it's really her fault for not putting in the work to make sure these things were checked off from the beginning.

She recently found out that I went to an Ivy League school for undergrad, and has been making snide comments about how I am so lucky to have "been handed such great opportunities." I sort of snapped and told her that I worked hard for these opportunities, and the job market right now is trash anyways, so it's not like going to an Ivy League did all that much for me.

She said I was being super ungrateful and that if she had that kind of leg up, things would be so much better in her life. So I said (and here is where I might be the ahole) that it's not my fault that she is unhappy with her life, and maybe things would be better if she lived more in the present and actually paid attention to what was going on around her instead of just relying on me to fill her in after the fact.

I feel like an ahole for snapping at her, but am I a justified ahole? Like, do I have any ground to stand on if she reports me to HR or something?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

nefarious_planet said:

Lol, NTA. Like, okay, your comment was a little personal for the workplace….but so was hers, and you’re young enough that nobody is going to expect you to have a perfect handle on professional decorum yet. Be prepared for this relationship to be more unpleasant going forward though, not less.

If you want great advice (and, honestly, a new internet thing to be addicted to) Alison Green’s Ask A Manager blog has tons of advice on navigating workplace conflict like this and is also entertaining as hell.

Iamakahige said:

NTA, lol you might be the first person in her life to level with her.

Alternative_Crab_367 said:

NTA. Though you probably could of handled that better, you told it like it is. But hey, that is just my opinion.

chchchchips said:

NTA. I think she was the ahole and instigator and what she said was worse. She sounds like a terrible and draining colleague.

CauseCausit said:

NTA. Misery likes company.

haven0answers said:

NTA. She's the type to blame everyone else for her own mistakes, unhappiness, lot in life. Like my grandfather said, she'd be happy now matter how perfect her world.