'AITA for telling my coworker she can’t bring her baby to our team meetings anymore?'
"AITA for telling my coworker she can’t bring her baby to our team meetings anymore?"
I (29F) work in a small marketing agency with a team of about 8 people. My coworker, “Hannah” (31F), recently came back from maternity leave. She’s great at her job, but ever since she returned, she’s been bringing her 5-month-old baby to our weekly team meetings.
At first, everyone thought it was cute. The baby would coo or smile, and people would joke around. But lately, it’s been really disruptive. The baby cries during presentations, she has to pause to feed or soothe him, and the rest of us just sit there awkwardly waiting for things to settle down.
These meetings usually last 30–45 minutes, but now they stretch to over an hour. I get that childcare is expensive, but these are professional meetings. We discuss client strategies, finances, and deadlines, it’s not the place for an infant.
Last week, we had a big client join virtually. The baby started crying mid-presentation, and Hannah had to step out for almost 15 minutes. Afterward, my boss (who’s conflict-averse) just said, “It’s fine, family comes first.” But the client later emailed me asking if we could “maintain a more professional environment next time.”
So I pulled Hannah aside privately and said, as gently as possible, that it’s becoming a problem and maybe she could make other arrangements during meeting hours. She got visibly upset and said I was being “anti-mom” and that she has every right to be both a parent and a professional.
Now half the office thinks I overstepped and that I should’ve gone to HR, while the other half says someone had to say it. So… am I the jerk for telling her not to bring her baby to meetings anymore?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
You need to step back and let HR handle it. Ask them to advise and step away.
yeah exactly, HR’s the move here. don’t make it personal, just document stuff and let them handle the mess professionally. saves u the headache.
This. I work in HR. The email from the client should have been forwarded to HR, Cc the boss, yourself, and the mom. A simple note of, "I received this from a client earlier regarding x, y, z. Could you please assist with this issue before it becomes a bigger problem."
Then everyone is aware that it's an issue and needs to be dealt with but you're sneaking through the backdoor to fix it instead of barging through the front door. Always CYA. Don't handle it yourself.
If there is no HR, boss has to see it and deal with it before you lose the client, and same email applies. Alway put things in writing. By talking to her alone you kind of put a bullseye on your back.
You should report both her and your enabling boss straight to hr because they are both being unprofessional here and in your bosses case also spineless and it has already led to one complaint from a client which is already therefore making the company look bad which they should care about and want to stop. Stand your ground and good luck op. UpdateMe!
Mom here. Oh hell no! I'm all for considering family life vs work balance but not when it impacts other people's ability to work and risks losing clients. How entitled must you be to think it's ok to waste colleagues time in meetings?
Also, she could hardly be giving her best to work if she is splitting time with her baby. Is the company paying her full-time wages to do part-time work? While anyone with no baby on their lap is expected to give 100%. Straight to HR and go above your weak manager to someone who will make a decision.
If the client feels that is was disruptive enough to say something it clearly needs to be said. No one is asking her not to be a mother but to make arrangements for during meetings. If meetings are now double in time due to her baby she must understand that it is unprofessional to be wasting other people's work time. Basically she's selfish and self centred to not realise how this affects others.
Well, they're both right - someone had to say it, but that someone should have been HR. Assuming you actually have HR in an 8-person firm and that this story isn't AI slop. What company allows an employee to bring a newborn to work all day every day? I mean, I guess in a small firm it's possible, but I've never seen it.
You are definitely not the jerk!! What an entitled attitude your coworker has. I would refuse to go to meetings if the baby keeps showing up.
NTA you tried to be a friend and it didn’t work. Forward the client email to your boss, HR and director. Doubt you can afford to lose clients. So it needs to be addressed. I would have already went to HR over it.
If 30 minute meetings are now taking an hour or more because of her and her kid. What’s she do with the baby normally? She has a babysitter and should not be bring her baby to work.