Wife reaches her limit when she catches MIL's criticisms on secret home camera. AITA?
"AITA for telling everyone how my MIL acted at our wedding?"
bubblyducky25
I (26F) got married to Jack (26M) in August. We have been together since we were 15. Jack and I decided to have an immediate family only wedding. It was extremely small, my dad and brother, his parents and sister/husband. My dad paid for everything.
My MIL/FIL ask if they can stay with us the week of the wedding, we say sure. They show up and they brought my MIL sister, husband and niece (14). The 5 of them are in the entry of the house and expect to stay with us this week.
I’m annoyed, especially since they weren’t invited? But I say nothing. My MIL walks right past me then turns to me and asks if we invited Jacks cousin, we will call her Jane. I tell her no, we just invited you guys and my family. The reason Jane is not invited is because she’s drama, wore white to Jack's sisters wedding and made a scene.
The day before the wedding, I get up and notice my car is missing, I had last minute things to get, turns our MIL helped herself to it, so she can go shopping at the mall. I call Jack, he calls his mom, she returns the car 4 hours later..The mall is 15 minutes away from our house.
I was able to get everything I needed and head home. When I get home, Jack pulls me aside and tells me my MIL yelled at him for having a camera in the house. We have a camera facing the back door. We check it to make sure the dogs aren’t outside and it’s locked.
Either way, it’s not hidden and it’s our home. To me, that was suspect. So, I check the footage and hear how my MIL/Aunt are absolutely berating me and our house. I show it to Jack and he tells me not to say nothing. The day of the wedding arrives, my MIL opens our bedroom door asking for an iron, so I go grab one for her.
I close the door and start getting ready. I have a picture of my mom (passed away) next to the mirror and I’m just in my head about it all. Then my MIL opened the door and asks for a curling iron. I get her one. I close the door and lock it. I call my dad to linger outside the door.
The limo arrives to pick me and my husband up and bring us to the church. Before I get out the door, my MIL, FIL, aunt, uncle, niece get in the limo and open the special bottle that my dad kept from his wedding.
So, now it’s me, Jack and all his family in the limo on the way to church. Like a literal clown car. They drink the whole bottle which I wanted to share with my dad and brother.
At the reception, Jack and I catch my MIL going through the wedding envelopes to see what everyone gave us. She is pulling money out and telling Jack that his sister is cheap.
Again, I say nothing. The last straw was when I looked around and my MIL/aunt were missing. I find them hiding calling Jane who didn’t even know about the wedding to tell her she wasn’t invited.
Lastly, I got my photos back from our photographer, my Aunt/MIL/uncle are doing the peace sign behind our heads in every group picture. I’ve told my friends what happened because it bothers me.. but my husband is saying ITAH because I shouldn’t tell anyone. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
GranbyTank
You and your new husband need to have a face to face meeting and get on the same page about how to handle HIS relatives in the future because this is only the beginning of the meddling.
I emphasized "HIS" because it is my firm belief each partner in a marriage should be the one who handles their own family members. So I hope your new husband grows a pair and can do the job. NTA for needing to vent as your husband would just tell you to be quiet.
MyCouchPulzOut_IDont
NTA - is it too late for annulment? Husband taking crazy family's side is a huge 🚩.
Hope you got safety gear because you're gonna be rolling this rock uphill you're entire marriage if you don't grow yourself a nice shiny new spine or if hubby continues to choose them over you.
Apart-Ad-6518
Oh no...NTA.
"I’ve told my friends what happened because it bothers me"
I think it would bother anyone. Your husband is the one you need to have the convo with though, as soon as. He needs to be on the same page & ensure his relatives know their behavior isn't acceptable. And excise them all from your lives if need be.
d0xym0m
OP, you should ask your dad and brother if they are willing to dress up in the same wedding clothes so you can do a re-do of the “family” photos. Don’t include hubby’s side. Then post the new photos all over your social media and everywhere on your house.
best-pomo196
NTA- If your husband does not support you when his family berates you, is he truly on your side? Talk to your husband and make the boundaries clear. Otherwise along the road, there'll be a lot of blurred lines and them walking all over you while your husband tells you to keep it quiet and brush it under the carpet.
SigSauerPower320
NTA. You're a better person than I am. There's no way I would have put up with that. She would have been kicked out after taking the car without permission.
rileysauntie
Oh hell no. NTA. Tell everyone who will listen. And have the photographer photoshop all those who did bunny-ears right out of any pictures in which they chose to do it. My petty self would then print those ones biggest of all and frame those ones only.
When MIL asks why she’s not in them I’d absolutely tell her that the photographer photoshopped out people who couldn’t behave like grown ups on someone else’s important day. Don’t let her ruin your pictures. Just wipe her right out of them.