'AITA for telling my soon-to-be ex husband I won’t drive him to his vasectomy appointment?'
"AITA for telling my soon-to-be ex husband I won’t drive him to his vasectomy appointment?"
My husband (56M) and I (52F) are in the process of getting a divorce. We are divorcing because he was constantly on dating apps. He says he is addicted and can’t stop himself.
I also want to note that I am the bread winner and pay all the household bills while he only pays his specific bills - car, phone etc. We also still live together until he saves up enough to move out.
This morning he told me he wanted to schedule a vasectomy appointment and wanted to know if I would drive him there. I told him no and that I thought it was extremely insensitive of him to even ask that.
He said it’s a medical procedure and he will be in a lot of pain. He then got upset that I wouldn’t take him. I said, it’s a procedure for you to not have to worry about pregnancy scares so you can sleep around with younger women.
He was always going after the younger women on the dating apps and has it in his head that most younger women want an older man. So, AITA for not taking him to his “medical procedure”? BTW, if it was anything else I would have absolutely taken him.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Yeah, young woman love older men who can’t even afford to pay for their own lifestyle.😂😂😂
Absolutely NTA! The entitlement never ceases to flabbergast me. If he wanted wife privileges from you, he should have been a better husband. You're divorcing. The whole point of that is that you no longer give physical or emotional labor to this POS.
He's getting a vasectomy so he can go boink other females without the worry of getting them pregnant. Wtf would you take him to that?! Tell him to get out.
NTA. I don't know how long you were married, but given his entitlement and insensitivity, I suspect it was too long. Good luck on the divorce. I hope you find the happiness, peace, and love you deserve. My wife and I both had 20+ year bad first marriages. We are in our late 50s and happier than we imagined was possible.
Vfact OP:
Thank you. I am looking forward to some much needed peace and serenity ❤️
NTA. He's specifically doing this for cheating! Also, you should give him a deadline for moving out; otherwise he'll be there for ages, claiming he's "saving up."
"He says he is addicted and can’t stop himself. I also want to note that I am the bread winner and pay all the household bills while he only pays his specific bills - car, phone etc. We also still live together until he saves up enough to move out."
NTA
I think the moment the divorce is final you should give him 30 days notice to gtfo. This is hilariously awful.
This is a very good idea, OP. I'm no lawyer but I would think if you can prove you paid the mortgage, then it should be nearly automatic that you get to keep the house. Depending on where you live you may have to formally evict him though.
I will drive you to your vasectomy if I drop you off at the homeless shelter afterwards. FYI he's believes you are going to wait on him hand and foot afterwards. Might want to arrange a place to stay for 3 days. Or insist he does.
Bwah ha ha! He’s a broke 56 year old man and he thinks the younger ladies are gonna go wild for him? Wow does he live in de-lu-lu land. Get that Divorce before his fantasy bubble pops or you’ll be dealing with this loser forever trying to cling to you.
YTA to yourself. Kick him to the curb. Stop enabling him to think you owe him anything. You don’t owe him emotional support, except on paper (until the divorce goes through) you’re not his wife anymore. Let him fend for himself. Put your efforts into getting that divorce through faster!
Once the young ones find out he had a vasectomy they’ll drop him. He thinks he’s a stud chasing all the girls, it’s all good until he ages or they want kids. That said, he can go pound sand, you owe him nothing! NTA.
He has money for a vasectomy, but can’t move out. First of all he would be giving me extra amount of dollars which I would be putting in an account to help him get out. That’s what I’m doing with my ex-husband.
Definitely NTA. You’re already letting him stay “until he saves enough to move out” (he’s 56… one would think he’d have his life together by now, but apparently not). Driving him to his appointment too? At that point you might as well put on the red nose and clown makeup. If anything you’re just waaaayyyy too kind.
NTA But you must know this already. Why are you even asking. There’s gotta be more to this story for you to ask. Because no sane person would think they are the AH ins this situation.
Vfact OP:
Edit: I wasn’t expecting all of the responses. I am truly overwhelmed, but in a good way. I never thought I would be the type to be in an emotionally and financially toxic relationship.
It has completely destroyed my self worth and it has taken everything for me to pull the trigger on the divorce. All of your comments have made my day and are making me realize that better days are ahead 😊