'AITA for telling my future mother in law that she will not be invited to our wedding and that she needs to get some help.'
"AITA for telling my future mother in law that she will not be invited to our wedding and that she needs to get some help?"
Buckle up cause it is going to be a long ride but I promise you that it is worth it. My fiancé and I met in high school and we dated shortly only to reconnect five years later. We have been now living together for three years and he popped the question three months ago.
We are planning a wedding for September. My family have always supported us, we are both graduating this year and he has already got a very good job as an IT but I am a medical student and still depend mostly on my family. My parents are truly amazing they have given us an apartment, a car and my dad gives me an allowance every month which will continue till I Start residency.
Me and my fiancé have shared everything since day one when we got back together he didn’t have a job nor education so me and my parents helped him in anyway we could, now he gives me half of everything he earns and I also share my allowance with him.
We are hoping that we will be able to move to another country after the wedding that we will become completely financially independent then but for now we still depend on my family who are paying for the wedding with the help of my fiancé’s dad.
Here starts the drama his parents are separated and his mom lives with his brother. She has a terrible drinking problem, she can’t keep a job because of it and she doesn’t want to get better.
We tried to help her we took her to a psychiatrist and to a psychologist, we bought her medication which she didn’t take. We even paid some of her bills. None of it has any effect on her.
The last straw was last summer when she got drunk and ruined my fiancé’s birthday. We went out celebrate and when his brother got home with his girlfriend he found her lying naked on the stairs in a pool of her urine.
He called my fiancé and we had to go and deal with that . After that my fiancé decided that he didn’t want her in his life at all. He has been experiencing that for years and he just had enough.
I supported him of course but I also was feeling bad for her because I get that she has a metal health issues, a disease. We cut contact almost completely the problem however started after my boyfriend proposed, my parents invited his family over to dinner and he didn’t want his mother there.
However, his dad completely ignored his wishes and brought her anyway without even telling him. We both were extremely mad but my parents supported the decision saying that she was his mother after all and she should be involved.
We decided to keep the peace so we went with it till now. Last weekend we went on holiday and my parents were out of the country so we needed for someone to look after our dog so we asked my fiancé’s brother and he said okay.
However two days after I received a text message from his mother telling me not to worry cause she was taking care of it although she didn’t know she had to and that she was the low class just a babysitter meanwhile we the high class should enjoy their vacation. Needless to say I stated seeing red.
Firstly I have never been anything but kind to her, secondly the subtle attack towards my family made me extremely mad, they are doing everything for us and that us includes her child and instead of being grateful she has the audacity to talk like that.
I gave her a piece of my mind and told her that we have asked my fiancé’s brother and that we will never do that agin but that she should be ashamed of herself and instead of always finding the blame in others she should look herself in the mirror and think about why both of her children don’t want to talk to her.
Then she proceeded to state that we have stolen money from her purse to go to our vacation. She made it seem almost like are all abusing her and I was truly shocked. I blocked her which I should’ve done the moment my boyfriend asked me.
Then this women proceeded to call my mother and try to give her a piece of mind about raising an ungrateful brat and being a bad parent and stuff like that. Surprise, surprise she was drunk yet again…
We went back to get our dog a day earlier cause we were really worried that she would poison it or something. She threw water at us and told us not to bother talking to her till the weeding.
So I told her that if she thinks that she would be invited she is very mistaken. My fiancé completely agrees with me but we are worried about a backlash from his family. Do you think I am the jerk?