'AITA for telling my friend she can't comment on my pregnancy anymore?'

"AITA for telling my friend she can't comment on my pregnancy anymore?"

I (30f) am 22 weeks pregnant. I have a friend (30f, Lisa) that's never been pregnant but she was heavily involved in her sister's (Jane) pregnancy last year. Jane had a very high risk pregnancy and it was very scary for them both.

I on the other hand have a very normal pregnancy. I have a very healthy baby but my mental health got worse during my pregnancy. Very bad depression. I was admitted to inpatient care for a bit. Other than that I lost 10 kg during the first trimester. Dr said this is normal. I am overweight and my nausea was very bad so I had nothing to stress about.

But Lisa however had an opinion on everything. The fact that I lost 10kg isn't normal because Jane gained 20kg. I'm on anti-depressants, safe for baby, Jane's doctor advised her not to go on any anti depressants because it could harm the baby. Jane had to make appointments every week in the third trimester. Jane's doctor said she couldn't eat or drink this and that.

You get the idea. I have other friends who I asked for advice but Lisa kept on giving her opinions to me and if I'm being honest I think all of her advice had me so worried and stressed it was part of my depression because I was honestly having to double check what I'm eating then taking a breath and remembering that I am not Jane my pregnancy is normal.

I did tell Lisa all this. That my pregnancy is normal and I'm not experiencing more than half of what Jane was. But she just kept going. She even said she can't believe I'm having a boy because she was so sure it's a girl because my symptoms where the same as Jane's.

When I mentioned the other day that baby's limbs was measuring bigger than the weeks that it was she said I'll definitely be having a c-section and I should ask my doctor maybe there's something wrong because Jane...something I can't remember reason. I asked my other friends and they said their babies measured normal so they don't know.

When I asked doctor about this, my doctor asked me if I'm still going to therapy because I seem to be having a lot of anxiety over things that's not necessary I told her that my friend is making all these observations and my doctor said maybe it's time to ignore your friend.

Lisa asked about the C-section. I told her that the doctor said I shouldn't be worried and she about went of saying Jane's doctor this and Jane's doctor that. I then told her unless she's the one that has been pregnant she should stop giving me advice. And she should stop giving me advice on a high risk pregnancy when I've told her multiple times that I have a healthy one. And I will be limiting contact with her until I give birth.

She cried and said she just wanted to help and my other friends are calling me a gentle b because I don't need to cut her off and she just wants to feel apart of what I'm going through. But tbh I think this was something I needed to do a lot sooner. So AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

mare__bare said:

NTA. She's causing you avoidable stress and you absolutely need to limit contact for now. Maybe suggest she get therapy because it seems like she just can't help herself.

Not_Good_HappyQuinn said:

NTA and anyone calling you any sort of name should be told straight ‘Lisa is causing stress which can harm both me and my baby. I’m sorry if you think it makes me a b to consider my baby’s wellbeing over an adults feelings but so be it.

Adept-Tap6224 said:

NTA. Every pregnancy is different, and Lisa's constant comparison of your pregnancy to her sister's isn't helpful. It seems like she got a bit too involved with her sister's pregnancy and is now trying to pass on these anxieties to you.

As long as your healthcare team is fine with how everything is progressing, then that's all that matters. Putting Lisa on an info diet--and making sure your other friends know why--seems like the best bet. Congratulations, and best wishes for a healthy little one!

No-Carob4909 said:

NTA. She isn't part of what you’re going through and she’s not a healthy person to have in your life. Maybe she’s truly wonderful outside of this, but she seems insufferable and the fact that she cried to manipulate you, and then ran to your friends and tattled doesn’t paint a very good picture overall.

Sirregularguy said:

NTA. If you felt you needed to do it, then it was right. This is your baby and she doesn't get a vote. Just understand that when you involve people in your affairs, they will cast judgment. Perhaps you should just use your therapist and positive friends and family as sounding boards.

Wheresthepupa said:

NTA. “She wanted to be a part of what I’m going through” but she’s not! Being a friend doesn’t mean being involved and opinionated on your friend’s decisions. I get to an extent her feeling a type of way after watching her sister go through a high risk pregnancy but after KNOWING that this is not the case for your pregnancy she should’ve backed down and just been a supportive friend.