Vacation almost canceled over $20 dispute amongst friends. AITA? + UPDATE
"AITA for telling my friend she has to pay double if she wants to pay for two people?"
Here’s the story: Basically, my friend (let’s call her Ashley) and I are going on a trip with three other people (Jess, Emily, and Sam). Ashley and I were discussing what the cost of splitting up prices were gonna be like for the hotel. I booked our hotel, and since there’s five of us going, I told her it’s gonna be split up into 5.
Well, Ashley says she’s paying for her friend (Jess), and wants it to be split up into 4 because even though Jess is going, Ashley is the one paying for both, and her friend isn’t paying her back for it. I personally don’t think that’s fair to me, Emily, or Sam. Ashley is choosing to pay for her friend’s hotel part.
The way I see it, splitting it into four only benefits Ashley and Jess (Jess because she doesn’t have to pay a penny), not me, Emily, or Sam because we’d be paying more than we should just because Ashley is paying for two. But she’s combining two into one because it’s just her paying.
If this is confusing at all, here’s a mini breakdown of fake prices.
Total of hotel: $100
5 people = 5 payments: $20 ea
How Ashley wants to do it:
5 people = 4 Payments: $25 ea
Because she’s paying for two people (including herself) but she’s only counting them as one. That would mean me Emily and Sam have to pay more than what we’re supposed to owe. I don’t think this is right.
The way she wants to do it makes it to where Sam, Emily and I are also paying for Jess’s part, not just Ashley. I’m pretty sure Ashley is upset with me because I told her that it needs to be split into 5 to make it fair for everyone else and she’s not really been talking to me so AITA?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s initial post:
NTA. Ashley is either an idiot or trying to pull a fast one.
OP should use Ashley’s logic against her. OP can tell Ashley that OP is paying for the other two friends (Emily and Sam). Since only two people are paying, the cost is divided by two so Ashley pays $50 ($25 each) for Ashley and Jess, and OP pays $50 ($16.67 each) for OP, Emily and Sam. And Emily and Sam can each hand OP $16.67 for services rendered after the trip.
NTA. That isn't what paying for someone means. If Ashley wants it split 4 ways then she isn't paying for Jess, she's expecting Jess' trip to be jointly funded by all of you. If she is paying for Jess then the amount should be split by person, and she picks up her and Jess' portions.
Two days later, the OP returned with an update.
I made the post to make sure I was thinking correctly (even though I truly couldn’t make sense into what Ashley wanted to do) but I mainly posted it because my friend wasn’t talking to me so I thought I might’ve been the AH. Putting out there that everyone going on this trip are young adults ranging from 18-22. Ashley and I are 21.
I noticed a lot of people misunderstood my post. So I’m gonna clarify a few things: Jess was going on this trip whether Ashley pays for her or if she pays for herself. She was always going to come and is an original member of the group that’s going.
I had just gotten the news that Ashley is deciding to pay for her share of the hotel. But Jess isn’t paying Ashley back. So I think Ashley got confused because since there’s only 4 people paying, she thought the bill should be split up into 4.
But that’s not how the bill should be split up. It should be split by however many people are staying, not paying. Because Ashley is choosing to pay for Jess. She doesn’t have to do that. The prices I used in my post were FAKE prices to make it simpler to explain. The actual cost of the hotel was way more than the examples I used.
Something I forgot to mention is that Ashley and I have never had an issue splitting up bills before so I thought this was extra weird of her to try to pull. We’ve just never had this problem before.
Also a lot of you were saying this will be a continuous problem during the trip like for food or anything else. But whenever we’ve been on trips before and ordering food or whatever, usually we order separate so that shouldn’t be a problem during this trip.
Another thing I didn’t mention in the original post was that the hotel room states it sleeps 6 people. There’s 2 full size beds, and a sofa bed. Idk if this is really that important but a lot of people were asking.
Jess and Ashley would be sharing a bed, and most likely me and Emily will share a bed because Sam made it very clear that she wants the sofa bed lol. But I do not think it should be split up by beds or sleeping arrangements because we’re all sharing the same space.
Also something I didn’t mention was that Ashley said she was only paying for Jess’ hotel portion and that anything else was going to be coming out of Jess’ pocket.
Now for the actual update:
I’ve talked to both Emily and Sam about it and both agree it should be split 5 ways and if one person wants to pay for another person then they have to pay double.
Neither of them are comfortable paying the extra because they don’t know Jess very well if at all. I also tried to explain to Ashley with examples like “if I’m paying for Sam and Emily then it would be split up into two, and you’re paying more for just two people than I am for three.”
Then I explained to her that it just wouldn’t be fair if I did that to her. I also emphasized that the way she wanted to do it makes it to where EVERYONE is paying Jess’s share, not just her. I was not gonna back down until she got it.
And she FINALLY says that makes sense now, and she apologized. And I mean I’m happy she’s finally understanding how it’s not fair to do it her way, but it’s still annoying that I had to use an uno reverse card and use her logic against her to make her understand. It should’ve made sense from the very beginning, but it’s whatever.
I’m hoping this whole situation won’t make the trip any awkward, but it’s two months away so hopefully everything will die down and we’ll have a blast! If anything else crazy happens I’ll be sure to update you guys. Thank you again for all the replies and support! 🙏
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s update:
Jesus, Ashley and anyone who thought the hotel bill was actually only $100 are dense.
You say you are all early 20s. How has your friend made it this far without understanding basic math and logic? This is elementary level thinking here. Has she ever shown signs of this kind of thinking before?
It's the fact that she got upset when people said "no we're not paying extra for the friend you said you would pay for" that comes across as entitled to me.
I did customer service for decades. Don't underestimate people inability to not understand basic concepts. Every single buy 2 get 1 sale, I had at least 2 customers try to buy 2 cheap items and get a third more expensive item for free despite literally dozens of signs explaining the details plastered all over the store.
Including half a foot to their right on the front of the register and a foot to their left on a pole aimed at them and another foot behind that sitting in a plexiglass stand on the counter aimed at them.
Ashley doesn't seem too bright, or she is wilfully misunderstanding. I have the feeling that this will be a running theme.