'AITA for telling my friend to stop feeding her kids food I’m allergic to?' 'You can't live in a bubble!'
"AITA for telling my friend to stop feeding her kids food I’m allergic to?"
So, I (28F) have a pretty severe peanut allergy. I carry an EpiPen everywhere and have had some near-fatal experiences in the past because of it. Because of this allergy, I’m super careful about where I go and what I eat.
Here’s where the controversy starts: My friend “Sarah” (30F) has three kids (ages 5, 7, and 10), and she is convinced that I’m being “too dramatic” about my allergy. A few weeks ago, I went over to her place for a casual playdate/coffee date.
She was making a peanut butter sandwich for the kids, and I reminded her again about my allergy. I even told her I would be super careful and would help with the kids’ snack arrangements, so I wouldn’t be around anything unsafe.
Well, Sarah seemed to completely not care. She gave the kids peanut butter cookies and said, “Oh, it’ll be fine! Just don’t eat them!” I freaked out a bit and told her it’s not just about me eating the food; it’s about cross-contamination and accidents that can happen. She rolled her eyes and said, “You can’t live in a bubble!”
Fast forward to today: I went to a birthday party where Sarah was also invited. Again, she brought peanut butter cupcakes for the kids. I can’t even describe how furious I was. I confronted her and told her that she absolutely needs to be more considerate of my allergy, especially since I’m putting myself at risk every time I’m around her kids.
Now she’s posting on social media about how I don’t like her kids and that I’m making her feel like a bad mom because she can’t feed them what she wants. She even sent me a text that said “you’re being dramatic and making everything about you."
AITA for expecting her to keep her kids’ snacks peanut-free when I’m around? Am I being unreasonable, or is she just being neglectful and inconsiderate? I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind here!
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
frauleinsteve said:
I think she's doing it intentionally. This isn't accidental. PB sandwiches AND PB cookies? and now PB cupcakes? She is testing you. NTA.
TheRealSquirrelGirl said:
NTA. Peanut butter cupcakes? I regularly eat straight peanut butter for lunch and have 3 different nuts in my house right now, and that sounds weird to me. Who brings a weird cupcake for sharing at a party? Agreed that she’s deliberately trying to either start trouble or hurt you.
Bake_and_Shark said:
NTA. Your friend is NOT your friend. She's an ahole who has no problem with risking your life. Please stop associating with this woman - she doesn't give a flying f about you. Because, before you know it, the next step will be her feeding you something with peanuts to 'prove' you are faking your allergy.
FoggyDaze415 said:
NTA, she clearly doesn't believe in allergies. One day she is going to get someone very sick and will learn, but do not let that person be you. Cut her off and tell other friend that they need to be careful around her.
Karma_1969 said:
YTA. It sounds like you expect her to change her behavior. Why? She has demonstrated that she's just not going to do that, and that she doesn't respect your boundaries.
What else do you need to know? You can't control her, you can only control yourself. So, stop hanging around her and stop considering her a friend, because she is not.
Fearless-Volume952 said:
NTA, if she doesn't respect your allergy at that level then she doesn't respect your safety at all. If her kids like peanut butter then cool, but she could've warned you ahead of time or waited until you weren't there to give them to the kids. It's a matter of life and death, not a little preference.