'AITA for telling my friend I wished she had just stayed in an Airbnb?'

"AITA for telling my friend I wished she had just stayed in an Airbnb?"

So here’s the tea. My friend decided to come to my city for a music festival. She asked if she could crash at my place for the last two days because her friends bailed. I said fine, no big deal.

I’m a creature of routine. I work at night, I stick to my sleep schedule, and I already told her I’m not about staying out late, hitting bars, or getting wasted. Thought we were on the same page.

First day: she asks to go to a cafe. Cool, I say yes. But she takes forever to get ready. I’m already done showering, clothes and makeup on, she’s still in the shower for literally an hour, still getting ready, so I fell asleep waiting for her. She wakes me up, annoyed that I fell asleep.

Cafe outing: she’s loud, messy, complains about the food not good enough, takes a million pics, keeps asking where we should go next, trying to convince me to go barhopping and then insists we take the “best” ride back to beat traffic. Spoiler: it didn’t beat traffic, and guess who’s frustrated? Me.

Then I try to prep for my night shift. She decides the living room is now her personal concert stage and blasts music. I politely ask her to turn it down because I’m in a meeting. Her response: “I’m bored.” OK. That’s fair…if I didn’t have a job and overstimulation issues. So I had to retreat to my room and work in peace.

After a long night and a late shift, I wake up late, exhausted. She wants to go out. I’m out. I can’t. So I said it. The words came out: “Honestly, it would’ve been better if you booked an Airbnb. No wonder your other friends canceled on you.” And now I feel like maybe I was harsh. But also… maybe not? AITA for saying that?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

wayward_painter said:

YTA for the "no wonder your friends canceled on you." That was out of bounds and you know it. Fair she came into your space and disrupted everything. But you need to take ownership over the fact you know this person and knew this was a bad idea. You could have kept it fun and had her stay elsewhere and hung out that one free afternoon. Respect your own boundaries next time, and be a good friend.

Medium_Reach7116 said:

Why are you even friends with her? It doesn’t sound like you even enjoy her company.

Caspian4136 said:

ESH. She's a bad houseguest who seems to think she can treat someone's house like it's a private hotel room where she can do whatever she wants. She has no care for others, you told her you had to work but she kept being loud and obnoxious. Also, who takes forever in the shower at someone else's house?

A good guest is aware of water usage and hogging the bathroom overall. Your comment about her other friends bailing on her was just mean. Even if it's true, it wasn't necessary. I will say maybe if you had sat her down to discuss it like adults, it would have gone better.

Zero_Patience1771 said:

I'm going with NTA. She maybe needed the reality check. Was it cruel to say? Yeah but a dose of reality sometimes hurts and I don't think it made you an AH. I just stayed for three days at a friends place with my dogs for a competition and I cooked her dinner because she worked a double...

Cleaned the kitchen and made sure to take her dog out and picked up after them too. I also left her a bit of cash and a thank you note. She told me.

Individual_Ad_9213 said:

ESH. I was with you, right up to: "No wonder your other friends canceled on you.” THAT was petty and uncalled for. It would have been enough had you just stuck to what she had done that violated your agreement. She, on the other hand, ignored that you had to work, needed sleep and quiet, and had agreed to respect your boundaries.

DeManta said:

NTA! What a jerk she is. If someone who is enjoying free hospitality behaved in a way you wouldn’t contemplate then no contest.

Old-Albatross-5979 said:

YTA - you had her over, you created boundaries - yes, but you didn’t stick to them. Instead you took your emotional discomfort out on a friend in a way that may have ruined the relationship. There are so many other ways you could have expressed yourself without being offensive and unwelcoming.