"AITA for telling my girlfriend her breath stinks?"
My girlfriend (30F) and I (30M) have been together for about 5 years. Throughout the relationship I've occasionally noticed that her breath was bad. The first few times I didn't say anything but would perhaps offer her a mint or some gum.
Over the past few months I've noticed the issue more and more and started to take note of her dental habits. She only brushes her teeth at night and never flosses. A few weeks ago I brought the issue up...
I told her that I'd noticed her breath had been a bit off for a little while and just wanted to let her know so she can do something about it. Since then her breath or dental habits haven't improved.
I mentioned it again a few nights ago and she started shouting at me saying that she asked her sister if she has bad breath and she said no, and that I must be smelling something else.
She says she's had the same dental habits for years and nothing has changed so why is it only an issue for me now. AITA for bringing this up? Or an I maybe TAH for not bringing it up sooner? What should I do here if she's not willing to try and solve the problem? Thanks in advance.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
peakpenguins said:
You're NTA but how someone smells is a sensitive subject and it's pretty common for people not to react well. I'd give some space and time and see if she actually tries solve the problem.
Vdavwil said:
NTA. You tried to be as gentle about it as you could. As a BF should do. She is just unable to hear it. Unfortunately, you can't just ignore it. If she continues to be stubborn about the problem, it will probably break you up.
mrxsdcuqr7x284k6 said:
NTA. Try brushing her teeth when she’s asleep. She’ll appreciate the effort.
Famous-Translator520 said:
NTA. I had a boyfriend who told me this and when I finally went to the dentist, I had something like 15 cavities. I could have brushed my teeth every hour and my breath still would have smelled. She should go to the dentist!
Turbulent_Hold_3300 said:
Nta. I would want someone to tell me! Perhaps you need to be more obvious (if that's the right word) every time her breath smells say something like - ugh. Your breath smells. Have you brushed your teeth today? Say it every time. Though I would like to add if she isn't drinking enough water that will make her breath smell.
Objective-Coast-1337 said:
Nope. NTA as long as you keep it about genuine hygiene and dental concerns. It’s probably best to only tell S/O or family members this, as it can be pretty rude to tell this to a coworker or acquaintance. Personally I have this same problem with my BF, I keep hounding him until he goes to the dentist, sometimes you have to do that!
Fit-Baby-5133 said:
NTA - huge turn off…When was the last time she went to the dentist? Sounds like she got gingivitis, a deep cleaning and better oral habits can help reverse it before it gets much worse (and it will) if she doesn’t seek dental care now.
1RainbowUnicorn said:
NTA. She needs to see a dentist. She likely has gum disease because she does not floss. The bacteria from gum disease can transfer to your mouth. If she won't solve the problem, I wouldn't be kissing her anymore.