'AITA for telling my girlfriend I didn’t want her to adopt her ex’s 3-legged dog?' 'I'm being HEARTLESS.'

"AITA for telling my girlfriend I didn’t want her to adopt her ex’s 3-legged dog and that I might not move in with her because of it?"

My (early 30sM) girlfriend (early 30sF) just adopted her ex-boyfriend’s 3-legged dog. They broke up over five years ago, never lived together, and she only knew the dog as a puppy. The dog wasn’t going to the pound. Her ex and his current girlfriend said they could figure out how to keep it if no one else wanted it.

We are supposed to move in together in three weeks. She already has a dog, a cat, and a fish tank. I have two kids and a cat. Our cats don’t get along. On top of that, she actually suggested rehoming my cat to make this work BEFORE she adopted this dog, which felt pretty unfair at the time.

When she first brought it up, I said I really didn’t think it was a good idea. I told her no, and I was firm about it. I eventually gave in and told her that if she really felt like she had to, I wouldn’t stop her, but I still felt strongly against it.

She also asked her sister and best friend. Her best friend said it was a bad idea, and her sister said to at least wait until we moved in together. Despite this, she went and adopted the dog anyway.

I now have told her that I might not move in because I don’t think she respects how this affects me, my kids, or the pets we already have. She says I’m being cold and heartless, and that it’s “just a dog” who needs a home. I feel like I was overruled and ignored, and this is a huge decision right before combining our lives and families.

AITA for telling her I don’t want to move in with her because she adopted the dog anyway? I feel like I might be the ahole because maybe I should just be more understanding and flexible, but I genuinely feel like this was the wrong time and the wrong way to handle this.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

FiFi2789 said:

I think you've just seen a flash of how the rest of your relationship is gonna be buddy. Why would you put your kid in a household like this?

JRDZ1993 said:

NTA but you should have called it quits when she said to rehome your pet.

GrimeRose said:

NTA she wanted you to rehome YOUR pet and then decided to get another pet? That’s insane and entitled behavior, I definitely would NOT move in and I would reconsider the relationship, seems to me she doesn’t care much for your concerns or for your children.

gringaellie said:

NTA it's heartless to tell her not to adopt a new animal, but it's ok to demand you rehome your cat? She really doesn't care about your beloved animals or your feelings, does she? So why move in with her?

KrofftSurvivor said:

NTA. You have an existing plan to live together in very short order - any new pets at this point are supposed to be two yeses, or it's no. Your girlfriend isn't used to trying to compromise for others, and that's not a good sign for living with someone else's children, let alone their pets.

She's already tried to get you to get rid of your cat, despite already having several animals of her own, and gave no consideration to your opinion before adding another dog. Don't do this to your kids. Don't live with this woman.

FacetiousTomato said

ESH. You're moving in together in three weeks, and you don't want to live with this dog. Saying "I don't want you to get the dog, but fine if you really want to." Is a very different message from "I won't move in with you if you get this dog." You meant the second thing, but you said the first thing.

lammcmahan656 said:

NTA. Don’t move in. Possibly break up. Best of luck.