'AITA for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary?' UPDATED

"AITA for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary?"

Okay it’s currently 4AM and I’ve feel so guilty right now I can’t sleep. So myself and a few girlfriends decided to watch a documentary that’s been trending. Not gonna lie I was expecting a documentary showing a human side of certain person but…yeah as anyone who has watched the documentary knows what it was.

Onto the issue, my friend's fiancé was one of the 1000. I wasn’t the first person to notice, two other friends were first to notice. I didn’t believe it at first but with a second watch it was definitely him now even tho his face was covered the body shape and especially the tattoos were undeniable.

We debated till the early hours of the morning if we should tell her or wait because she’s 8 months pregnant but imo if someone cheats like that it’s not their first time and I rather lose her friendship for telling straight away than her finding out I knew hid it because let’s be real when you tell someone news like that there’s a huge chance they’ll hate you not the cheater.

So this (Sunday) morning I asked my friend to met up to talk I showed her the evidence and the minute she looked at the picture she knew it was him and broke down. I expected her to be angry at me but she thanked me for being honest as multiple people have hinted that she should watch the documentary instead of being up front like I was.

I ended driving her to her mom's house I’m guessing she told her fiancé I told her because he has been blowing up my phone calling me a evil little homewrecker who ruined not only his life and calling me out on social media for trying ruin his relationship and wanting his unborn daughter to grow up without a dad .

My friends are angry with me for telling her straight away and not waiting till she had the baby in case the stress would cause issues to her health

I don’t give two sh*ts if I’m being honest about her fiancé. But I feel so bad for putting my friend in this situation while heavily pregnant and I’m worried if something does happen to her it will be my fault like maybe she would have watched it herself and found out on her own. AITA for telling my pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary?

The commenters did not hold back.

strikecat18 wrote:

Just to be clear since the OP wasn’t: The dude was in a p*rn video banging a random chick with 999 other guys. Apparently while already with his fiance. I’m pretty sure this is cut and dry. Lol.

OP responded:

People were saying I was very vague in the post but I didn’t know would saying the name of the documentary against the rules and I don’t want to give too much information away for my friends sake I’ll edit the post later when I’ve gotten some sleep and my anxiety isn’t as bad .

He was part of the 1000 Bonnie blue line up in January they got engaged on Christmas Day and my friend would have found out around January she was pregnant (she didn’t tell us till she was 3 months pregnant)

doomaloo wrote:

Let’s be real, what matters is how your friend feels. You told her right away and she was thankful. She took action right away. Does that sound like the kind of person who would want you to keep that secret from her?

OP responded:

It’s early days yet tho she could stay with him and this could all turn on me. I’m a hairdresser, I’ve had women come in telling me they’re getting divorced giving very valid reasons why they’re doing it. Then maybe 4 weeks later they’ll come in praising their partner. There’s always a chance with situations like this the victim will put their hate on the wrong person.

[deleted] wrote:

I mean NTA. But I gotta ask, was he in a p#$no or are p#4nos now being called documentaries?

OP responded:

The Bonnie blue documentary it’s basically a porno we literally thought it was gonna show a human side to her or anything else than what ever that documentary was.

[deleted] responded:

Ok I knew the 1000 men was a thing didn't know she made a doc too. Yeah does sound like it would still veer into p0rn0graphy.

At least your friend now knows the truth about her fiance.

OP responded:

I was expecting some stuff but not that much.

anoncommenter345 wrote:

Yeah, you absolutely needed to tell your friend. I have a hard time believing this is the only time he’s been unfaithful too. Not many guys decide to cheat for the first time by doing porn.

OP responded:

really hope he was decent enough to be careful for my friend's sake.

JeffinVancouver wrote:

You wrote:" I rather lose her friendship for telling straight away than her finding out I knew hid it" and "I expected her to be angry at me but she thanked me for being honest"

So why does anyone else's opinion matter?

OP responded:

Our friend group are afraid that the stress would harm her as she has had issues during the pregnancy and suffers from panic attacks and if anything were to happen her or the baby I’d never forgive myself.

The next day, OP shared an update.

The only update-

My friends fiancé wasn’t the only one of our partners to do the line up. My boyfriend of 3 years was one, so was another friend's husband. Two hours ago he posted screenshots a group chat and photographic receipts no one could deny.

Other men in relationships are involved he said in the caption “I wasn’t the only one there “tags me” maybe check your own man before coming for my relationship “tags 5 other women” I’m not taking the blame alone and being seen as the bad guy while “tags the men” did the same” there was a lot more said but I stopped reading and just deleted my social media account than blocked my now ex.

I don’t want to hear his explanation I feel so humiliated and physically sick I don’t know how I’m gonna face the coworkers or clients at work tomorrow I wish I could just disappear. My phone is going crazy so I’m going to turn it off go for a long shower than see can I get any sleep for what I’m sure will be a hell tomorrow.

Editor's note: Yes, there is a real documentary (with that term used rather loosely) about this on Apple TV.

The internet did not hold back.

momo179 wrote:

And there it is! The reason the friends were judging, they were involved

OP is not TA At 8 months the baby is safe. It was not a risk pregnancy. And finding about her fiancee being in p0rn could be worse if not through a friend.

thehobbyqueer wrote:

Part of me is tickled that they all got exposed. Sucks for their partners that they were so s#$t. Great they didn't get away with it tho because the one guy crabs-in-a-bucket'd it.

LightsLux wrote:

I have never had an update knock me out of my chair this hard.