AITA for telling her she’s not that smart for buying things she can’t afford?
"AITA for telling her she’s not that smart for buying things she can’t afford?"
WrongSession1944
To summarize this, I (28) have been with my partner for 3 years, some part of his family are kind of wealthy but not all of them. His cousin ‘Marie’ (around 38F) is very lavish and arrogant.
I’ve never felt welcomed by her. My family wasn’t dirt poor but we definitely struggled growing up. I don’t deny my upbringing and while I’m not very defensive about it I try not to take things personally.
Recently during a family reunion we were talking about how my SIL’s daughter ‘Sasha’ has developed an interest in thrifting. Both getting stuff from thrift shops and selling/donating things.
My SIL and I were talking about how that’s such a nice hobby and nice thing to do. Sasha mentioned that her friend got a nice equality bag from a thrift shop, then Marie inserts herself in the conversation and says she owns the so called bag
Sasha says that her friend was lucky and got a very nice deal for it since she can’t actually afford it as she’s just a college student. Then Marie says that some stuff from thrift shops are “disgusting and bad taste” and “left overs from others”.
I found that comment so nasty and I told her “well, not necessarily. What kind of bag is it Sasha?” Sasha says the brand and I ask Marie “What’s your bag?.” And she mentioned the same brand but gets defensive and adds “I bought a similar bag from the store and had to wait a lot for it. That’s how is it done”.
This is why I think I’m the real jerk, I know Marie isn’t that wealthy and they have been struggling financially, obviously she keeps that hidden and doesn’t speak about it.
So I tell her “well it seems that Sasha’s friend got a better deal since she bought the ‘disgusting’ bag for less”. Marie asks me “are you calling me disgusting?” And I tell her “no, I’m just saying that you’re not the smartest if you’re buying things you can’t afford”.
She got really upset at me and told me I was a very mean person, which I think I partially was but I didn’t care, she deserved that and I don’t think anyone should put down others for no reason specially if they’re not there to defend themselves. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
MrsNobodyspecial67
NTA. some people think its acceptable to talk trash and put people down to make themselves feel better. Sometimes you just gotta let them know you see them.
Mission-Fortune-3971
Yes. I agree. Her obsession to own status symbols or appear rich seems to come from a place of insecurity. Smh.
The OP responded here:
WrongSession1944
And she wasn’t even broke. Her husband makes good money but she doesn’t know how to handle that money…
Ok_Conversation9750
NTA. She’s not terribly bright, is she? Spending beyond one’s means is not a sign of wealth or status - it’s a sign of foolishness.
Masteer__Turtle
NTA. Marie was rude to both Sasha and her friend and her own comment about 'disgusting' thrift shop bags was rude as well. You may not have handled it perfectly, but Marie deserved to be called out for her rudeness.
Own_Lack_4526
ESH. So Marie is a jerk. Doesn't mean you have to be one, as well. There were ways to make your point that there is nothing wrong with thrifting without calling her stupid.
4Bforever
NTA I hate when people get all negative about something someone is excited about that absolutely hurts no one. I mean she’s kind of right thrift stores don’t actually clean the stuff before they sell it I’ve read stories about people getting hand foot and mouth disease after digging through a Good Will bin, But if this girl goes to thrift store she knows this. She was being rude.
Upper_Agent1501
Lol having "leftovers from others" is called beeing sustainable. I eat togoodtogo and only buy new if i cant absolutly help it ....you need to work less, you have good stuff and dont destroy earth...she is not only stupid but a very bad person.
NotCreativeAtAll16
ESH. What you said may have been the truth, and Marie was definitely acting pretentious, but talking about another person's financial situation is an AH thing to do. You don't know her details, as you yourself said.
Infamous_Jay_
These are the same girls that are in 500k debt and wondering where it all went wrong , do yourself a favor either walk away from the headache that's about to happen or talk to them about it , if they don't want to change their habits walk away and find someone better that uses their brain and has critical thinking skills.