'AITA for telling my husband he can watch the show I'd been recommending alone?'

"AITA for telling my husband he can watch the show I'd been recommending by himself after he only agreed to watch it when his cousin recommended it?"

Hi, just looking for a quick judgment, this might sound petty and if it is and if I'm behaving like an AH I'll drop the issue and apologize.

I've been recommending Gilmore Girls to my husband for something to watch, since we started dating really, I even showed him some clips and he said he'd pass, which was fine with me. I've loved it since I was a teenager and I also understand it's not for everyone. Since I've known him I've probably watched the show twice over, by myself.

Yesterday we were at a family dinner, where a lot of his extended family were as well, and a cousin he's close to. Anyway today after dinner, as we were watching TV he put on Netflix, searched up Gilmore Girls with full intent and then said his cousin had told him his wife got him hooked to this show it's become a guilty pleasure of his.

I honestly thought he was messing with me. I told him I'd suggested it countless times, and me vouching for it had never been good enough but his cousin's word was gospel. He was just like "are you sure this is the same show?" which just made me madder.

I told him I'd seen it twice since I knew him because he never watched it with me so he can watch it by himself and I just went to our room. I heard him put it on for like a minute and then he seems to have switched to something else. I'm sorry for posting something so petty but really AITA for my reaction?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

bullwinkle932000 wrote:

NTA...I'd be upset, too. It sounds to me like your husband had convinced himself or heard somewhere that this was a show that is geared toward women, that women were the only ones who liked it and certain men said certain things about other men who liked it.

Then, when another guy said he liked it, it became okay to watch and that's why your husband is willing to give it a shot now. I obviously don't know your husband, but that's the vibe I get when GG is brought up in mixed gender settings. It doesn't make him an AH necessarily, it makes him a little socially dependent on other people, though.

That said, this is your chance to watch your show with your husband. Do you want to do that? This may be your only chance to do so if you drop it and create a safe space for watching the show. Right now it's "the show that my cousin said was good, but my wife yelled at me for" which doesn't make it conducive to watching. That's my 2 cents anyway. Good luck!

dude_wherrs_my_car wrote:

Is he consistently this way? My sister's husband typically disregards her suggestions and advice. If she wants him to do something, she has to have a man suggest it, then he'll listen. If this is also your husband firstly I'm sorry and secondly, NTA. But if it's a one-off, congratulations on finally getting him to watch a show you love.

Careless-Being-4427 wrote:

NTA, I totally get where you’re coming from. The number of times I’ve been in this situation with men, it’s too many to count.

There’s an episode of Modern Family that does the perfect job of showing this VERY common scenario - Phil has a wedge salad at a restaurant and Claire is pissed because she’s been telling him how good it is for years and he doesn’t try it till he’s at that same place with a buddy who recommends it - it’s always something simple like that.

TheWacoFogey wrote:

NTA. I bet he got turned off at the thought that it was a female-oriented show, and only opened up to trying it when a male recommended it. You don't mention ages, but it sounds like the kind of thinking that young men use. It's annoying and immature, but it's not a big deal unless you make it so.

Parking-Air3844 wrote:

NTA the fact that he only cared about it when another dude told him to watch it, but not his WIFE, who he supposedly loves, who loves the show and has been begging him to even just TRY to watch it is gross and it’s giving misogyny. It was finally “okay” for him to try when a man recommended, but not the woman who he’s supposed to spend the rest of his life with? Oh I’d be SO pissed if I was you babe.

buffhen wrote:

The people calling you the a-hole are missing the point. NTA, you're upset because your husband ignored you for years about something yet listened when it was presented by someone else one time. I'm willing to bet this isn't the first time he's done something like this.

Eyegreen9333 wrote:

Does he have a tendency to disregard other things you've said? Do you have the feeling that you're not valued, that your opinions in general don't matter to him? The reason I ask this is because of your reaction in this scenario. It seems like you've dealt with this before in different ways. You had a strong reaction to him doing this, giving me the feeling this is not a rare occurrence. Please let me know.

Klutzy_Start708 wrote:

NTA. Anyone saying you're an AH hasn't experience the incredible frustration of having men only listen to other men whilst dismissing or outright ignoring women.

Not long after posting, OP shared a small update.

Edit: I haven't gotten a chance to go over all the comments. The first few had made the point that this really isn't a hill to die on. I told him why I reacted the way I did, he said the way I described it and the clips versus the way his cousin did were very different, he didn't mean to blow me off. So anyway we're watching it now. I'll be sure to come back to this post!!