'AITA for telling my husband’s childhood best friend she’s too involved with my kid?'
"AITA for telling my husband’s childhood best friend she’s too involved with my kid?"
A bit over a year and a half ago me and my husband gave birth to our son. It was our first kid and we were incredibly nervous and scared we were gonna screw things up. The first week with him back where horrid he cried all the time and it was ridiculously exhausting but I’d be lying if I said we didn’t know what we were getting into.
At the start my husband's best friend was amazing she would come round all the time bring us food spend time with our son babysitting so we could some time away and really appreciated the help and she seemed to genuinely love my son. When my maternity leave was finished and I went back to work she offered even more of her time to help with baby sitting instead of me hiring someone.
I said that I couldn’t make her do that and she surely had other things do and she said it was fine she works from home on her online businesses anyway and she even refused pay. And honestly I didn’t mind any of the help until now.
I recently noticed on our doorbell that she had been coming in at night while I was doing occasional night shifts. I thought it was strange but you know free help so I never confronted it as weird as I felt it was.
But yesterday when I came home from a shift and found my son playing with her and found that he kept referring to her as mama I think something kinda broke inside of me and I told her to get out.
She protested and asked what’s wrong and I just asked her to leave and to not come here again and she accused me of being jealous and that I was scared I was being replaced. She pointed out that if I was a more involved parent, my husband and son wouldn’t need a “second wife” and I screamed at her told her if she knows what’s good for her she should get out. She finally did.
My husband came home a bit after and I told him about and he just shrugged and didn’t say anything. But my MIL called and had a go at me basically repeating her talking points and saying that I needed to apologize. And honestly I’m at a lost cause at this point I feel really bad and felt like went to far. Am I the arsehole?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NoTechnology9099 said:
NTA. But why in the world would she be coming over at night. Your husband is home and bay is probably sleeping while you’re working over night? How long did she stay? She came to see your husband, not help with the baby.
Something is up here. She could be very jealous of you and also really in love with your husband to the point that she’s making up an imaginary life. At 18 months, he knows who mama is. For him to just start saying it means he’s learning it from somewhere…
ApprehensiveCup6190 said:
NTA. But your husband just shrugging his shoulders does not help this situation. Now that you’ve asked her to remove herself you need to sit down and have a serious talk with your husband.
Ok_Ebb_7946 said:
NTA. But you're husband is married to his bestie, and if you're any smarter than a rock, prepare to get chucked out of your home unless you start stepping up for your baby.
jam7789 said:
NTA. She's trying to steal your husband and child. I'm not sure I'd care to keep the husband if I were you but you definitely need to keep her away from your kid. Creepy!