'AITA for telling my husband’s GF that I don’t care what he did to her?'

"AITA for telling my husband’s GF that I don’t care what he did to her?"

I know it might be very confusing, but I am still married to my husband but he had an affair with another woman so his mistress + girlfriend or whatever. Op (37F) girlfriend (24f) Derek (40m). My husband, Derek and I have 3 kids.

We’ve been together since middle school, grew up with each other's family. We surrounded ourselves with telling the truth even if it hurt, communicating about anything. I realized the dead weight of my marriage, Derek stopped talking to me when I would try to speak to him, coming home later than work, hiding his phone when I came into the room.

By that time I knew he was cheating, I just didn’t have proof. I acted like everything was okay, I found out about the girl. But more stuff that made my stomach hurt was finding out that he had kids with her, a 4-year-old and she's pregnant with twins. Maybe I failed in life, I just blame myself because how was I this stupid?

Anyways I planned on leaving, I left on Christmas Eve at 4am with my kids to my mother’s house. Some people might get in me for not staying so the kids could spend Christmas at the family house and that’s okay but I couldn’t handle it, but they had enough presents.

Yes I left but I knew this situation would not go away easily, Derek has been trying to get in contact with me. I answered one time and told him the kids were okay so stop calling. It’s been a few days but I’m still getting problems back to back, somehow the mistress got my number.

She sent pics of her belly, their 4-year-old daughter, but also a picture of her of an injury caused by Derek. But the issue was that she was trying to get me to tell Derek to go see her since he hasn’t been responding to her, didn’t get their child anything for Christmas etc.

What confused me was why did she feel comfortable to ask me when Derek and her had this on going affair, but the way she was talking about him as if he was a hero after what he did to me and her. I can’t catch a break.

All the hurt and anger I’ve been holding in came out, I said I don’t care what he did, what he’s not doing, because I don’t want anything to do with him. Yes I did take screenshots and blocked her but she’s using fake numbers to get attention.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

FriendlyMum said:

NTA but strategically speaking…put her on mute and continue to collect all that beautiful, beautiful evidence. Your future lawyer would be quite interested. Frankly speaking, a judge doesn’t care what you say, your word vs his word means nothing. Evidence is what they want and she’s laying it at your feet.

Speak to a lawyer and get your ducks in a row in relation to your finances, children and divorce. Protect yourself. This is going to get messy and given he’s has a looooooooong relationship with her as well, you don’t want to loose YOUR hard earned money to her in a property settlement. Get in fast, get in first! She and him can argue over the dregs he’s got left.

FeelingRoyal6582 said:

NTA. The girlfriend is 24 and they already have a 4 year old? That's a bit alarming. Do not block her. Mute her texts as you may need every dumb thing she does as evidence in court later. Get a lawyer and enjoy your new life.

jensmith20055002 said:

NTA, but unblock and put on silent so you can keep all of the proof for later.

InitiativePurple508 said:

NTA - keep every text, picture you received from them. It sounds like you have enough on your plate. She is not your responsibility, she is not your ally. Protect your heart and your kids hearts. No one else matters. Hugs to you, all the best going forward.

allersoothe said:

NTA, girl none of this is your problem and is a huge mess that's just going to get bigger and messier, she wants to hurt you, sucks he's hurting her but your involvement isn't a solution to that, block her/both of them and move on with your life.

Select-Negotiation87 said:

NTA. Your soon-to-be ex is a major one. Get a lawyer asap. Document everything including what mistress is sending you! Follow lawyers instructions. Ignore angry mistress. Communicate w your soon to be ex husband only about the children. Sorry you are going through this OP.

Odd-End-1405 said:

NTA. Don't block, Mute her and him on your phone, keep the evidence for your attorney. This is his doing and his problem...unfortunately, you and your children are the collateral damage for both of their selfishness. I am sorry you are going through this and I hope you are able to get some peace soon.