AITA for telling a kid to shut up on the plane?
Today I went holiday with my wife, we sat to our designated seats and in front of us there were three kids with the mother sitting on the raw parallel to them. Two of the slightly older kids (10 to 12 y.o.) were well behaved but the youngest (8-9 y.o.)was such spoiled little monster.
Shouting and screaming if he would not get what he wanted, not listening to the mother to stay quiet, or in his seat for taking off, pressing on the seat in front of him with his legs, and so on. I was quite irritated and appalled by such bad behaviour and just looked at my wife with my eyes in disbelief since the mother tried to keep him under control.
The flight took off, he got his iPad and watched cartoons, I had my headphones on and fell asleep but as the plane landed quite far on the landing strip, we had quite a while to wait.
The kid started screaming and shouting for this and that, throwing a tantrum and I just had enough, sat up a bit, looked at him and said “Yo kid, you need to shut up.” The kid stopped, said nothing and the mom said “He is just a kid.” x 2 but if you can not control your kid to the point I hear him through noise cancelling, it is a bit much.
In my opinion I did everyone a favour, even his siblings were tired of him, with his brother saying “I mean, he is not wrong, but not exactly right” which I found it a bit funny. Also the boy that I told to shut up, sat on his seat facing me and stared at me for a while in defiance, I suppose? Doubt I created a trauma or anything.
TL;DR: I told a kid to shut up on a plane after he kept shouting and his mother could not bring him under control. AITA?
EDIT: We were on the plane for 20 minutes before departing, the flight was 1 hour and 20min, we waited another 20 30 minutes before getting off after landing.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Visual-lobster6625 wrote:
NTA. Sometimes a kid needs to hear it from someone who's not family. They are used to putting up with him at home and he's used to acting that way with them.
I'm willing to bet he wouldn't do this same behaviour in school, why should a public place be any different?
PuffAttack wrote:
I am a special education teacher and a parent of two teen boys. NTA. This is a great age for him to find out the world won't put up with his tantrums. His family clearly does, but the world isn't going to bend around him.
Shipcomprehensive543 wrote:
NTA. An 8-year-old knows they were being an AH (and should be able to control himself) and his mom should have sat directly with him and sat the eldest one in the adjoining row to prevent him from kicking the seats, etc.
OldBoyShenanigans wrote:
As a parent myself, if my kid wasn't listening to me (which one of mine never listens to a word I say), if a stranger said what you did, I'd appreciate it. As the old saying goes "it takes a village to raise a child", you just happened to be part of that village that picked the kid up on his bad behaviour.
OP shared a small update after receiving some comments.
EDIT 2: After reading some of the comments, my wife brought to my attention the kid is younger. In her opinion the kid is 4? I do not believe so since the kid was quite articulate in his speech, knows how to use ipad? Then again, I have no kids so I leave it up to you? Maybe deduct some years, I did not ask him personally.
Here's what people had to say to OP's update:
oh_you_fancy_huh wrote:
Soft YTA, not for speaking up but for the delivery. “Shut up” is for adults who you either know well or who are old enough to know better. A kid is still learning how to know better. Would have started more politely like you might with a person who doesn’t know how disruptive they are.
Like “hi can you please keep it down, you are screaming very loudly and it’s bothering me and everyone else a lot.” Usually the embarrassment at realizing that other people can hear them will shut the kid up.
Puzzleheaded-Bat-139 wrote:
NTA - and I also disagree with saying you should have said something to the mother. If she was already trying, it wouldn't have helped to tell her anything. Sometimes kids need harsh lessons from adults who aren't their parents. Honestly, the kid will probably remember that forever, and it will probably be a great service to him...
Mrs_Naive wrote:
Let's see, just because a kid is "just a kid" at that age doesn't mean that others have to pay for how rude he is. It's not that you told him to stop believing that Santa will bring him presents, it's that he was annoying even through noise-cancelling. And it's also not that you slapped him or threatened him, but that you told him to shut up.
A rude child like that will sooner or later run into someone who will set limits for him in a much harsher way. I feel sorry for him because he is the result of his parents' incompetence, although there are children who come difficult as standard and we do not know how much of a struggle it is for the mother to educate them correctly. NTA.
D_Nicole91 wrote:
NTA. If you can't parent your kid, someone else will step in and do it for you and you don't get to be picky about how it's done. This wasn't a 3 year old who missed a nap. 8 is old enough to know exactly what he's doing. He chose to be quiet when a stranger said it, which means it's an actual choice. I'm surprised a flight attendant didn't step in.