'AITA for telling my MIL it's not my fault she married a deadbeat?' 'Figure it out.'
"AITA for telling my MIL it's not my fault she married a deadbeat and to figure it out?"
So I'm 25 and my husband is 28. We just had our first baby 4 days ago. I've just been released from the hospital yesterday. My MIL is bombarding my husband with calls because she's old and sick and wants him to take care of her.
My husband took 2 weeks off work to stay home with me and the baby to care for me after the C-section and bond with our daughter. MIL took that as him being free and available and refuses to acknowledge that he's not on vacation.
It hasn't been easy. There were complications and I lost a lot of blood. I'm in a lot of pain to the point where I can't even stand up on my own. Our baby is very fussy and crying a lot. We're not really sleeping because she literally cries every hour.
The first time MIL called was literally 3 minutes after I gave birth and wanted him to go to her because she wasn't feeling well. She kept calling every hour when I was still in the hospital. My husband stayed with me the entire time because like I said I lost a lot of blood and wasn't feeling well.
He put his phone on DND and didn't turn it on until i was discharged. We were still in the hospital parking lot when she called, he answered and when he explained the situation she lost her absolute mind and he ended the call. She hasn't stopped calling him and he blocked her number last night at 4am after 73 calls from her.
She started calling me this morning and I tried to be polite but after 15 calls between 7am and 3pm where she called me names, yelled at me and insulted me I snapped and told her to leave us alone because we have a newborn at home.
She said she doesn't understand why he can't go to her because her husband never took care of her after she gave birth and wasn't really involved with the kids until they were 3-4 years old and i told her it's not my fault she married and had kids with a deadbeat and to leave us alone and figure her own shit out like an adult.
My husband is on my side but we're obviously biased considering the amount of stress we're under at the moment so I'm asking because I don't know if it's just the stress and the hormones and we're actually the problem or she is out of her mind to expect my husband to leave me alone at home in this condition.
I'm posting here because I need unbiased opinions, I feel like an a for what I said and even if it's deserved, I shouldn't have worded my frustrations better.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
lapsteelguitar said:
JFC. Your MIL has issues, and it’s not on you & your hubby to solve them. Don’t answer when she calls. Cut off the conversation when she starts her crap, if/when you talk to her. NTA.
Difficult-Signal4867 said:
NTA, your mil is behaving entitled and congratulations on the baby.
Soggy_Sun_7646 said:
Your mother-in-law has some serious mental health issues. She needs to learn that she is not the center of the universe. Most parents would appreciate that you are in a difficult situation and try to help you…not the other way around. Good on you for setting her straight. I would set limits with her and go low contact until she can begin to act like an adult! NTA.
Arietis24 said:
I think your husband needs to tell her, very firmly, that he’s going no contact for a while. If she starts back at it, in a few weeks, go no contact again, for longer this time. You both need to focus on your health and your baby. NTA, of course.
HoneydewGlitter said:
NTA. MIL seriously needs to understand boundaries and respect your family's time and space. It's not your or your husband's job to take care of her, especially not right after you gave birth. Plus, who calls someone 15 times in the span of 8 hours!? That's just excessive. Hang in there and hopefully she'll eventually get the message and leave you guys alone. Congrats on the new baby, by the way!
SnowyOrchidCharm said:
NTA. You’re recovering from major surgery with a newborn. Your MIL is completely unreasonable and frankly, kinda selfish.