'AITA for telling my mom about my stepfather’s affair after catching him with another woman?'
"AITA for telling my mom about my stepfather’s affair after catching him with another woman?"
I’m really struggling with whether I did the right thing or not, and now my family feels like it’s falling apart. This happened a few nights ago, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
So, I (32F) was invited out to dinner by a coworker. She’s new at my job, and we’ve been getting along pretty well, so when she asked me to come celebrate her birthday, I figured why not?
We went to this nice restaurant like, one of those fancy places I usually wouldn’t go to unless it’s for something special. While we’re eating, I spot someone across the room who looks really familiar. It took me a second, but I realized it was my stepdad (50M).
That alone threw me off because he was supposed to be out of town for a business meeting that night. My mom (58F) even mentioned earlier in the day that he had a big work thing and wouldn’t be home until the weekend.
At first, I thought maybe his trip got canceled, and he was having dinner with a colleague or something. But then I noticed the woman he was with. She was way younger than him and dressed really... let’s just say, not professional.
They were sitting close together, laughing, and being super touchy. My stomach was already in knots, but then he leaned in and kissed her. Not a friendly kiss a full-on, romantic kiss.
I felt like the room was spinning. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I didn’t know what to do, so I pulled out my phone and started recording. I wasn’t even thinking clearly, but I knew my mom would never believe me if I just told her. My stepdad has always been the "perfect husband" in her eyes, and she trusts him completely.
After they finished their meal, they left together. I didn’t follow them I couldn’t handle seeing any more. I just sat there for the rest of the night trying not to cry and barely touched my food.
When I got home, I couldn’t sleep. I kept replaying what I saw in my head and trying to figure out what to do. A little background: My mom and stepdad have been married for 15 years.
He’s been in my life since I was a teenager and has always been a father figure to me and my younger brother (27M). But over the years, I’ve heard rumors about him cheating. My mom always brushed them off, saying people just liked to gossip because they were jealous of their relationship.
I debated all night about whether to tell her. Part of me wanted to pretend I didn’t see anything, but I knew I couldn’t live with myself if I kept quiet. So, I showed her the video.
She didn’t cry right away. She just stared at the screen like she was trying to process what she was seeing. Then she thanked me for telling her, and we just sat in silence for what felt like forever. The next day, she confronted my stepdad.
He tried to deny it at first, saying I must have misunderstood or taken things out of context. But when she mentioned the video, he couldn’t come up with any more excuses. He packed a bag and left the house.
Now my mom is devastated. She hasn’t eaten much, barely sleeps, and I feel awful for being the one to shatter her world like this. To make things worse, my brother is furious with me.
He says I should’ve minded my own business and let them work things out on their own. He thinks I made everything worse by showing her the video instead of confronting my stepdad first.
Even some of my friends think I overstepped by recording him and exposing him like that. I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest with my mom, but now I’m second-guessing everything. Was I wrong to get involved? AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA. I’m sorry little bro, you should have let this man just keep on cheating on your mom? Hell no, she needed to know what kind of AH she was married to.
She absolutely needed to know even if my brother says otherwise I don't know.
NTA you did the right thing your mother deserves to know the truth about him. He is the AH and a cheater!
Nope. NTA. Not at all. Your brother is just in his feels right now, or he’s also a cheater and he’s empathetic to him. Your mom deserved to know that her reality was a lie so she can process it in her own way. It’s called heart ache for a reason, shit hurts. She will rebuild and it will be based on honesty, and you will be there to help her through it.
NTA. He was cheating. he got caught. The best thing you can do right now is support your mom in this difficult time for her. You didn't ruin the relationship. Your step dad did. Your brother is an AH for telling you that you should have kept quiet.
NTA. Your mother deserves to know she’s being betrayed. Your brother needs to reevaluate his morals and remember his mom is the victim and your stepdad is a cheating pos. Please remember you didn’t shatter her world.. your stepdad did.
You 100% did the right thing, imagine how upset your mother would’ve been if this came out five years from now and she knew that you knew that whole time and were just watching her look like a fool. NTA. But I am questioning your brother’s morals.
There is no "working this out on their own" if he has been cheating all along. According to rumours, he may have been. You did the right thing and your mom deserves so much better than a serial cheater. Please support your Mom as she works her way through this. Your brother can pound sand. NTA.