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'AITA for getting my dad into trouble by telling my mom he wasn't spending the child support she paid on me?'

'AITA for getting my dad into trouble by telling my mom he wasn't spending the child support she paid on me?'

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"AITA for getting my dad into trouble by telling my mom he wasn't spending the child support she paid on me?"

My mom was in an accident when I (17m) was 14 and was left disabled as a result. Because of this my parents decided it would be for the best if my dad had custody of me because mom had a long recovery ahead of her and she'd need a lot of help herself.

My mom paid child support to my dad for me. Only it was never spent on me. It went on his stepkids. He saved it for them and never used it on me even when I did need money for things.

He had me overdraw on my school lunch account and then wouldn't pay the balance, I had to do it with money from my grandparents, even though he was the one who last minute said we had nothing for me to take a lunch from home because his stepkids were getting more for theirs because it wasn't enough.

When I needed supplies for a school project he refused to pay for them. I wasn't allowed to get a haircut even though the stepkids, my dad and his wife all got them whenever.

His wife was getting her hair dyed every other month and his stepdaughter got highlights for her birthdays. I got way less than the stepkids for food too. Lots of stuff like that was going on while I was there.

There was a lot of stuff like that and while mom was deep in recovery I didn't want to upset her with it. But eventually I told her because she wasn't giving her disability money for my care for it to go to kids who're nothing to her.

My mom was so pissed and so were my grandparents. I moved in with my mom and my grandparents moved in with us so my dad couldn't fight against us. Then she got the courts involved and they didn't like it.

I had proof or well my mom brought the proof I had for the courts. They decided dad should pay it back since he was abusing it and not providing for me the way the court order said. He only got away with it because mom didn't see me as much as she otherwise would have.

My dad and his wife are pissed at me for doing it when one of the stepkids has a long term medical issue. They said I could have been understanding and I was old enough at 16, when I told my mom and moved back in with her, to know medical issues take priority.

They said it benefitted my family and I might not have got a comfortable time there but I got enough. My mom said the stepkids got enough though and that's why I wasn't wrong. But my dad and his wife accused me of acting out of spite. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

Fluffy_Sheepy

NTA. No matter what his reasons were, that money was for your care and he wasn't using it on you. It's very simple. Childsupport is for the child of the person paying the support money. He was abusing it, so he loses it.

Exactly right. Child support is meant for the child it’s intended for, not anyone else. Your dad had a responsibility to use it for your needs, and he didn’t. You’re NTA for standing up for yourself your well being should have always been a priority.

beek_r

NTA You aren't the only person who thought your father was mistreating you. Your mother, grandparents, and even the courts agreed that he wasn't being a good father. And, if this is about benefiting family, why were you the only one not seeing a benefit?

mxzf

Yeah, the fact that the dad was ordered to pay the money back, rather than just stopping future payments when OP moved in with mom, indicates that his behavior was provably totally in the wrong. That wouldn't have happened if it was just questionable or a little eyebrow-raising, it would take seriously screwing up to have to actually pay back the child support like that.

Mother_Search3350

Tell your father to eff off along with his thieving wife and go and sit on a cactus. He is a despicable human being for stealing money a disabled woman was giving him to care for her child and spending it on another man's children. He is a sociopath and a shizshow of a parent and a sorry excuse for a human being.

Block him and his AH wife and stop entertaining their BS. You are a very brave young man for standing up for yourself and saving your mother from being financially abused by those criminals. Definitely NTA.

dollonne

Nah, you’re not the AH. That money was for you, not his stepkids, and he knew that. You didn’t act out of spite, you stood up for yourself. Your dad failed you, not the other way around.

NTA. He has failed abysmally at being a father. You can tell Mr & Mrs AH that forcing someone to take responsibility and make restitution for their appalling thievery is not being vindictive, it's justice. You were were being robbed and neglected (this is abuse) by the parent who should've been protecting you. Glad you got out.

waxedgooch

Of course your dad and his wife are mad. People who break the rules get mad when they’re caught. Would you blame a police officer for arresting a thief? The thief probably would curse at the officer and blame them.

NTA, your dad and his wife are thieves; what makes it worse they stole from your mom who was disabled. Your dad and his wife can get second jobs, go after the stepkid’s bio father for child support and stop spending on luxuries like expensive hair treatment for his wife and stepdaughter.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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