'AITA for telling my mom that my stepdad was cheating with our neighbor and “ruining” their marriage?'
"AITA for telling my mom that my stepdad was cheating with our neighbor and “ruining” their marriage?"
So, I (19F) found out my stepdad was cheating on my mom, and now my whole family thinks I'm the bad guy. Here’s what happened. I was at a coffee shop the other day, just grabbing a latte and trying to chill a bit. As I’m sitting there, I see my stepdad walk in.
Nothing weird at first—I just assumed he was getting coffee too. But then our next-door neighbor walks in right behind him, and they sit down together. They were super close, and at first, I thought, maybe it’s just a friendly catch-up or something. But they started holding hands across the table, and at one point, he leans over and kisses her. Right there, in the middle of the cafe.
I felt sick. My mom has been through so much, and I couldn't believe he’d do this to her. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t real, but I knew I had to let her know. So, I snapped a couple of photos on my phone, just in case she needed proof, and later that night, I showed her. She was devastated, obviously. I mean, who wouldn’t be?
She ended up confronting him, and things have been a mess since then. She’s been talking about leaving him, and they’re arguing all the time. Now, here’s where it gets worse—somehow, everyone in my family found out what happened, and they all think I made a huge mistake by telling her.
My aunts and uncles are saying I shouldn’t have gotten involved, that it was a “grown-up issue” and that I basically “ruined their marriage.” They keep saying my mom and stepdad would’ve worked things out eventually, and I’m the reason they’re falling apart. I’m honestly so confused and hurt by all this.
I really thought I was doing the right thing by not letting my mom stay in the dark, but now everyone’s making me feel like I made everything worse.
So, AITA for telling my mom about the affair and “ruining” their marriage?
What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:
Routine-Friend-7585 said:
Nta. He did wrong. You looked out for your mom but you are being used as scape goat
DinkumGemsplitter said:
NTA, your family kind of sucks if the reaction is blaming the messenger. You're the only one acting like an adult.
UndisputedNonsense said:
Your family are massive AHs
Candid_Process1831 said:
NTA! YOU MUM DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH ! He is the a$$hole !
And OP responded:
She needed to know the truth !! I dont consider myself the AH my stepdad is the real AH for cheating on her ! Cheaters deserve to be exposed !
EtherGlimpse said:
NTA, you did the right thing. Your mom deserves to know the truth, and it's not your fault her marriage is in trouble. It happened to a friend of mine too, and she was grateful someone told her. Hang in there; you're just looking out for your mom.
BlazingSunflowerland said:
If you kept this secret for your stepdad your mom would feel betrayed by you when it all came out later.
And OP responded:
sooner or later everything comes out !
We'll keep you posted on any future updates!