'AITA for telling my mother-in-law she can’t take her grandson for an entire day by herself?'

"AITA for telling my mother-in-law she can’t take her grandson for an entire day by herself?"

I (f/30) had a baby 5 weeks ago and live long distance from my in laws. MiL is coming into town next week to visit/meet baby and wants to take him all over town for an entire day without me. He is exclusively breastfed and does not take a bottle, he will only eat for a few seconds then screams and looks for breast.

He has never been away from me and gets worked up and fussy when I leave the room for more than a few minutes. He is happy and healthy but very attached to me which is don’t think is unreasonable for being exclusively breastfed and only 5 weeks.

MIL has told my partner multiple times that he needs to make me put baby on a bottle so she can take him and that I do not know what’s best for the baby (this is her first grandbaby but baby #3 for me so I am not new to this). They say I am trying to keep the baby from her and I’m selfish for thinking it’s too early for him to be away for an entire day.

No one on my side of the family has had him by themselves. He has never been anywhere without me. I am happy to let her have all the time with him that she wants as long as we are all in the same place.

She is not familiar with the area and has not communicated where their hotel is, what they will be doing, where they’re going, or how long she wants him just that she wants him by herself “for the entire day” specifically without me.

I’m getting alarm bells and red flags from the entire situation. My partner has said “I will not be with someone that would keep my baby from my mom and be so selfish.” But I’m just trying to protect my infant. I told them they can spend all the time with him that they want and I won’t interfere unless he needs to eat or gets too worked up. AITA?

Later, OP provided more details:

My answer is unequivocally no. She cannot take my baby anywhere. More detail: they are from a Caribbean country where there are many cultural differences as well as language barrier so I did not see the red flags until I was very pregnant.

I have only met MIL in person once a few years ago and she put the crazy away for that occasion. He said many times throughout my pregnancy that he wanted the baby born in his “home” rather than here in the states where we live but I made clear that was not feasible.

He has also expressed that he wants to take baby back to his home country to learn his language and culture at some point. I fear that he and MIL are plotting something behind my back but I have been told I’m being controlling, manipulative, dramatic, and selfish so many times in the past week that I think I’m losing my grip.

Am I actually seeing the signs I’m seeing and do I need to be reacting as strongly as I am? I will not be letting baby out of my sight and she will be lucky to see baby at all with the way she is behaving. Is that too overbearing or just being a protective mother? …I haven’t gotten enough sleep for this…

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Inevitable_Pie9541 said:

NTA. Your husband has lost his mind, pressuring you over this lunacy. Nothing about your MIL's demands are sane or sensible or reasonable. NO. Practice saying it. No, no, and no. Do not let this woman leave your home with your child.

Not for 5 minutes, or she'll disappear for the day, not check in, and ignore your calls. If your husband is a first-time father, maybe he just doesn't get it about an EBF newborn. To be as fair as possible to him. But still, NO!

As_if_Cher said:

I mean, obvs NTA. Your husband sure is though. Call his bluff and leave. Laying down guilt trips and ultimatums like that over a newborn is just disgusting behavior.

Agreeable_Toe_3730 said:

No. Establish boundaries now. You’re exclusively breast feeding, that’s enough of a reason, though I could think of plenty more. Your partner is an AH if he doesn’t have your back. She can come visit in your home and stay the day (if you like) but she has zero business taking a 5 week old infant from his sole food source.

TarzanKitty said:

NTA. Stop referring to YOUR child as her grandchild. It is your newborn. Any other relationship with your child is secondary at best. There is ZERO reason for a newborn to be away from the parents unless the parents find it necessary for their needs. Your newborn is not a library book. You aren’t required to loan him out to entertain adult relatives.

qtip53 said:

NTA. When I first read "they say" I had to do a double take and then you made it very clear later that your husband was on board with this craziness. Clearly her philosophy of getting them off the bottle does nothing for getting them off their mom's teat, otherwise your husband would have a backbone and stand up for his wife.

Swimming-Review-3552 said:

NTA, at all. I really, really want to know why she doesn’t want you there. Very strange behavior/request in my opinion. Also… WTF to your husband?? Shocked that he’d rather his child be without his mother during a vital stage than have his mom get her feelings hurt.