'AITA for telling my BF I want our joint savings account to be in my name only?' UPDATED

"AITA for telling my boyfriend I want our joint savings account to be named after me only, even though we both contribute equally, because I'm afraid he'll lose the money again?"

Yes, the title is bad, But it's the truth. My boyfriend is a Bitcoin day trader. He can make in a day what I make in 2 weeks, but he can lose the same amount in an hour.

We used to have a joint savings account, but one day he gambled everything on some "sure investment" and lost the entire account, plus a lot of his own money. He said one of the "coin makers" lied to him and stole the money from everyone. That money was supposed to go to the first payment on a house and moving expenses, but it was all gone because of a scam.

It took me a lot of time to accept what happened. I'm still not sure what I would have done if he hadn't given me my money back. We're still planning to buy a house together, but now I demand to be the only one that can control that money.

He told me I'm a control freak, That I don't believe in him or his businesses and that I'm pissed that he makes more than me. Except I don't. I literally have a stable income and benefits from my job.

He told me that he will become a millionaire and buy himself every house he wants, because now he "makes the coins himself" and he is afraid I'm going to leave him and take his money. I told him that if we break up I'll open the savings account and split it down the middle so we both get what we paid for.

I love him, but I don't trust him with my money. I feel like I'm dating a gambler. Is it wrong of me to be this controlling? He makes me feel stupid for not understanding his work, but maybe I am just financially illiterate. I don't know. Thoughts?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

CrystalQueen3000 said:

NTA. You are dating a gambler. Put your money in your own account, you have to keep your finances separate if he’s willing to risk your money as well as his own. If it works out for him then great, but if it doesn’t then you’ll both be screwed.

TrayMc666 said:

NTA. My husband also dabbles in the markets, and crypto. He does pretty well out of it. However. He has an account purely for this activity. If he lost it all tomorrow I wouldn’t know, I wouldn’t care, and it would have zero impact on our “real” money. It’s his hobby.

I think you’re doing the rational thing here. You can’t risk him losing everything, and it’s not fair of him to expect you to be fine with him gambling with the family finances.

OP responded:

I think that's the best way to deal with crypto. That's what l want to do

madelinegumbo said:

NTA. He's got a gambling addiction and I wouldn't share any funds with him.

joanclaytonesq said:

Do not get a joint checking account with this man. Keep all of your finances separate from this man's finances. He's demonstrated that he is not responsible with money. He is a gambler. Protect your own financial interests and don't get your money tangled up with his. NTA.

And Reenvisage said:

NTA. You are dating a gambler. Having separate bank accounts is a good idea. Buying a house together is a bad idea.

She later shared this first update:

I bumped him. He tried to explain to me that he stopped gambling on crypto- he started a company with some people to scam other crypto investors. Apparently he can create "meme coins" and scam people for their money. I recorded everything while he showed me some graffs. I'm not sure what the police can do with it, but I'm going to find out. You were right, everyone, he is a POS

....and a second update:

I talked to his mom and told her everything. She said he gave her a lot of money recently after she and her husband saved him from bankruptcy just 4 months ago. I didn't know about the bankruptcy. I had no idea.

But I tried to explain to her that he is a scammer. She is cutting any financial aid\ties to him and her husband (my ex step-dad) kicked him off the family vacation that was supposed to happen in the fall. They are a well off family, and having a scammer son can destroy their reputation. Easy to say- he is in a lot of trouble now.

answering some questions: Q- why did you have joined finances? A- I don't have a supportive family and I couldn't get a rental contract and then a loan by myself. We both had stable jobs and had a similar expectation of life.

Q- what coin did my ex create?

A- I'm not going to mention it so I don't accidentally dox my ex and then myself.

Q- did you report him?

A- yes. I reported him to the FBI (didn't get a response) I reported him to Twitter (didn't get a response and his account is still live) I reported him to 'coin exchange' (got a thank you e-mail and an assurance of an investigation)

Q- will you talk to YouTubers x?

A- no. I feel like I've done enough. I want to heal and move on.