'AITA for telling my boyfriend 'no' and not letting him use my truck to see his daughter?'

"AITA for telling my boyfriend 'no' and not letting him use my vehicle to see his daughter?"

I (32F) and my boyfriend (39M) have been together for 7 months but we've been friends for 4 years. My BF has a 15 year old daughter (we'll call her Sarah for this post) who lives on ranch in MT, about 8 hrs away from us in ID. He has shared custody of her. I don't have any kids but Sarah and I get along really well and I've never really had any problems with her.

Last month, his daughter came to stay with us for a week and although it was fun, my BF tends to spend a lot of money we don't have on her and it breaks the bank. I am all for spending time with Sarah and having a good time, but Sarah has expensive taste in activities, food and clothes. (I personally like thrifting).

Well, in order for her to see us, we have to drive 4 hrs to MT and 4 hrs back (meeting half way) to get her, and then make the drive again to take her home. My truck is the only good running vehicle and the only one that's street legal so we tend to drive mine for these trips.

Fast forward, his family is organizing a christmas dinner for family here in town in ID to make things easier for all of us to see each other, and yes Sarah will be there. Sarah wants to come on christmas day and stay until Jan 4th to see her dad but wants us to drive to MT to get her and take her home. My truck has been having some issues and is in great need of new tires.

I have a few lights on my dash that I need to take care of before anymore long trips. My 33rd birthday is also Dec 30th and this is my first birthday actually in a relationship and I for once won't be working and I wanted to get out and do adult things such as get drinks, nice dinner, stay out late with my BF (normally I am always at home or working and never go out to save what money we have).

My boyfriend told his daughter we will come get her and drive her home without talking to me. I told him I was concerned about my truck and driving through 2 different mountain passes in the snow (we live in the far North) and I don't think it would be smart.

I may have said it abruptly an got frustrated when saying this to him, but I did quickly tell him I'm sorry and wasn't trying to be rude about the situation. He cancelled the plans on picking Sarah up and told me to "just cancel all other plans we have" for christmas.

He has since been extremely quiet around me and although he still acts goofy with me, he's extremely distant and no longer goes to bed with me (he'll wait until I'm asleep, and then come to bed).

I did suggest if she waited until Jan, I could have my truck fixed by then and we can come get her. He only shrugged this suggestion off and didn't respond. So, AITA for telling him "No" to using my vehicle to see his daughter and now I feel like I could be wrong for doing so?

This is what people had to say to OP:

2hounddogs said:

Why is there so much "we" in a seven month relationship? It sounds like you're already living together, joined finances and sharing a vehicle? He isn't fixing the truck, he's spending money "we" don't have. What exactly is he bringing to the relationship? You're NTA for not wanting to use your truck to pick up his kid, but the overall relationship doesn't seem to be benefiting you.

Ok_Day_8559 said:

NTA. Girl, you cannot be this desperate to be in a relationship with an almost hobosexual. You keep saying you this and you that. What is he even doing? He has taken over your vehicle, your finances and your life. Wake up, drop that zero and get on with your life. His daughter is not your responsibility. Where’s his car? Where’s his money?

This-Surround8854 said:

he should get a car instead of relying on his 7 month gf's.

And baka-tari said:

BF could rent a car or pay for the repairs and tires that your truck needs. He's getting a tremendous benefit from using your truck, it only makes sense that he puts some $$ into it to make sure he can have a safe drive there and back to pick up his daughter without a breakdown or sliding off the road on a snowy mountain pass. NTA