'AITA for telling my coworker she's flat after she said a customer looks trashy in a sports bra?'

"AITA for telling my coworker “you’re just offended because you’re flat” after she said that a customer looks like a stripper for wearing a sports bra."

So I work at a Pilates studio and one of my coworkers was talking about how inappropriate it is that this girl was wearing a sports bra. I pointed out that everyone else is wearing sports bras and she is just being singled out because she has big boobs.

She got really upset at this and couldn’t believe that I didn’t see anything wrong with it. We debated back and forth for a bit and she then told me she “looks like a str*pper” and its distracting to everyone else in the studio.

I told her she doesn’t look like a str*pper and that the sports bra is clearly her size she just has cleavage because she has boobs? She basically said her outfit is disrespectful to others and the double standard exists for a reason.

This is where I messed up… I told her it might stem from jealously and that she's probably offended because she’s flat. She told me that was incredibly rude. I just don’t think it’s fair to consider someone’s outfit inappropriate just because they’re curvy.

If a skinny girl was wearing it they would have nothing to say. I’ve dealt with comments like that a lot in my life so I guess it just really triggered me. just because someone has DDs doesn’t mean their outfits are s*xual, it’s a workout studio, everyone wears sports bras?

My coworker's opinions are mixed, but I feel like most of them are on her side. IDK I feel like an AH for telling her she’s flat because I really don’t like commenting on women’s bodies. But she did it first, so I'm not sure if it’s justified.

EDIT: I just want to add the reason I said that is because she said “I could wear that because I have nothing to show” so I kinda just agreed but yeah it was mean. Also, I did apologize afterwards because I knew I shouldn’t have said that, but she hates me now 😭

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Classic-Pea6815 wrote:

Isn’t it harassment for employees to be taking about customers’ boobs? She was def in the wrong but next time I would reccomend against your rebuttals because not only can a customer hear you and report you both but you can be reported by the coworker for talking about her chest.

OP responded:

It definitely should be taken seriously but the management is horrible. This was literally in front of the manager😭 She won’t report me, but even if she did I don’t really care. She is the one with something to lose, she’s in her mid 40s and does this as a career (not saying there’s anything wrong with that it’s just the facts) I’m 18 this is my part time job while I’m in college.

ConsequenceUPset8875 wrote:

Had to pick my daughter up for inappropriate attire. So I headed up to get her thinking maybe she took clothes and changed at school. I get there and she is wearing her gym clothes.

The gym clothes that they made I purchase through them. The school approved gym clothes. The same outfit all the other girls are wearing. Nothing is different from the other girls. Except she can't hide the fact she has boobs. Wtf?

InsertElectrical2066 wrote:

She was body shaming and you didn't like it. Your body shaming her was only because she made the unjust comment and then you applied her judgment back on to her. NTA your comment would be unacceptable by itself in a vacuum, but her comment was the sucking point (pun intended) of the whole situation.

divinelytrue42 wrote:

NTA. If you talk about people’s bodies you’re giving them permission to talk about yours. If she was offended she should learn to keep her opinions to herself, she didn’t ask to have a flat chest and the other girl didn’t ask to have big tits.

I don’t like when people make comments on my body so you will never see me commenting on anyone elses. It’s weird and gross and people need to get a hobby or learn to love themselves.

Whyamiwritingthis_74 wrote:

ESH. Two wrongs don't make a right. Tho she should not have said such a thing about the customer, a personal attack did not help anything and just made you seem rude.

"I really don’t like commenting on women’s bodies". That's why body-shaming her is not really going to change her attitude of commenting on others. Defending the customer is great, but insulting her body is not a solution.

Bedunn wrote:

NTA. Does she not realize that your comment to her about her “flatness” is essentially the same thing as her comment about the customer’s “bustiness”? Having boobs is not a crime, and neither is being a stripper.

Having boobs also does not in any way imply that someone is a stripper or looks like a stripper. Bottom line, your coworker was jealous and insecure and chose to channel those emotions into rude demeaning comments towards an innocent stranger.

Chemicallyimbalanced wrote:

Don't feel bad. I'm one of those with giant boobs and have had stupid comments both to my face and behind my back about how inappropriate what I'm wearing is when it's literally the same thing someone else is wearing. Thinner, smaller-chested people, without a bra on in a tank top out camping sitting in the sun while we chatted? Perfectly fine.

I took my t-shirt off, (still wearing a tank top, with a bra on) it was insinuated I should cover up. When I flat out questioned why and pointed out others who were wearing the same thing the only BSexcuses they gave came from some deeply ingrained mysogynist self-hatred, trauma or plain jealousy.

It turned into a whole thing and I refused to put it back on to make them more comfortable. Let them deal with their own unhealed crap that makes them feel the right to judge others. Sure, there are nicer ways to deliver the message, but some people just aren't willing to or conscious enough to be aware of their own stupidity just because "that's the way it is."