"AITA for telling my dad I will start charging rent?"
I am 27F, live in a small city apartment with a finished basement that I used to use as an office and hobby space. In late June my dad, 55M, asked if he could crash with me for "two weeks" after a breakup. He is not unsafe or violent, just loud and messy and a bit charming when it suits him.
I said yes because he is my dad and he looked wrecked. The first weekend I cleared out the basement, gave him the good air mattress and a dresser, wrote the wifi on a sticky note, all that. Two weeks turned into "just until I sign a new lease", then "my deposit is delayed," then "I might move in with a friend."
Every time I asked for a date, I got a story. In the meantime my electric bill jumped, my grocery bill jumped, the office that let me take paid freelance gigs became a TV room with soccer on at 2 am. I tried soft boundaries.
Please wash your dishes the same day. Please do not smoke on the back steps. Please give me a heads up if you plan to invite someone over. He apologized every time and then did it again. In August I sent a budget screenshot and asked for 300 a month to cover utilities and the space.
He paid once, late, and said it felt weird to pay his kid. In September he brought home a stray cat for three days without asking. I ended up vacuuming litter out of my rug and replacing a chewed charger. Last week I came home to him hosting three coworkers watching a game in my living room, chips everywhere.
I snapped a bit, said the new rule is rent on the first, 500, or he needs to give me a move out date for end of the month. He called me cold and said "family should be family, money talk is gross." My aunt texted that I am humiliating him and he just needs time to get back on his feet.
I feel guilty because he helped me with a down payment on my first car years ago and I do love him. But I also feel like a landlord to someone who never signed anything. AITA for putting a rent number and a deadline on my own parent, or am I just doing basic adult boundaries. If there is a better script, I am open to it, I just cant be the free hotel anymore.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Technical_Lawbster said:
NTA. If the aunt is so adamant about "family is family" she can take him. Check the laws, get everything in writing and start collecting eviction proofs.
HourPrestigious1055 said:
Nta. You've given him five months, now he needs to start paying rent, he's had plenty of time to save money AND find a place.
Technical-Habit-5114 said:
Nta sounds like Auntie just volunteered to host.
p1z4rr0 said:
Just remember, if he pays rent he is not going to think twice about doing all the things you dislike, and it will probably get worse.
DazzlingPotion said:
Sorry but you've got an entitled hobo living with you. If he won't pay his share then it's time to look into eviction rules. NTA.
goodrevtim said:
NTA. Your aunt just volunteered to take him.